


Little yellow crayon

by Nachsie



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mental Institution, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Comfort/Angst, Dark Comedy, Eventual Romance, Hurt Dean Winchester, Intern Castiel, M/M, Mental Anguish, Mental Health Issues, Mental Health Patient Dean Winchester, Mystery, Nurse Balthazar, Owner jimmy novak, Protective Castiel, Romantic Comedy, Security guard Benny, Slow Burn, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-06-12
Packaged: 2019-05-08 19:40:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 25,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14700882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nachsie/pseuds/Nachsie
Summary: When Castiel's father comes to be the owner of a new asylum, Castiel finds his curiosity peeked by the mysterious patient behind three o' two. Coming from two different worlds the boys find themselves connected by a little yellow crayon.





	1. Yellow

 

 

 

 

**Castiel’s POV:**

  
  
  
  


The six-year-old was helped out of the town car as he glanced up a bit in fear at the old worn down building. He held his hands behind his back as he looked up at the building in discomfort, he felt a hand grip his shoulder which made his eyes glance up at his father. The man didn’t make eye contact as he finished shrugging on his coat.

 

“Fear is a weakness of the mind, Castiel.” His father spoke rocking the boy with a squeeze of his shoulder roughly. His father glanced up at the building himself admiring the brickwork as a woman came out to shake his hand.

 

“You must be Mr. Jimmy Novak.” The woman shook his hand as Castiel tilted his head at the nurse. She turned her attention to him. “And you must be his son, one we have heard so much about.”

 

“Introduce yourself.” His father spoke as Castiel eyed her.

 

“I’m Castiel, Ma’am.” Castiel held his hand out as she softly shook it.

 

“I’m Ellen.” She spoke impressed by his respect and politeness. She let go of his hand and turned to speak to his father, Castiel returning to look at the building. “So polite.”

 

“Politeness is the only thing keeping us from being savages,” Jimmy spoke as he finished fixing his coat and started to walk inside the building. Castiel slowly moved to follow them.

 

“So currently in our asylum there is over one hundred residence,” Ellen explained. “Most if not all are here for long term.”

 

“My goals are to expand the place, add more employees and residents. The more long-term the more promise of long-term money-” Jimmy spoke as Castiel lazily moved to keep up his little feet pitter-pattered on the floor.

 

However, he slowly came to a stop when he noticed a small yellow crayon rolled from under one of the solitary cells metal doors. Castiel had almost stepped on it, as he moved his foot. Softly kneeling down he picked it up, he examined the used crayon. Castiel twisted it in his hand before glancing at the metal secured door.

 

Castiel slowly walked up to it pushing open the latch for food to be passed, his eyes slid over the empty room. There was a bed, a desk, a toilet...but nothing else. No one human anyways. Castiel blinked confused as he softly got onto his knees and checked the room from the small crack under the door the crayon had rolled under still not seeing anything. Castiel hesitated before softly rolling the crayon back under the door. The crayon rolled straight under the door and under the bed where the crayon stopped rolling suddenly underneath. Castiel squinted trying to see if it had hit the wall or...if someone stopped it.

 

“Castiel. Keep up.” His father called causing Castiel to jump glancing up as his father rounded the corner.

 

“C-Coming,” Castiel spoke when he moved to get up he noticed the yellow crayon was now perfectly sitting in front of him. Castiel gasped surprised as he looked down at the crack to see if he could see anyone but no one was seen. “Is someone in there? My name is Cas.” Castiel whispered. “It’s okay, you can come out, I won’t ever hurt you-”

 

“Castiel. Now.” Jimmy snapped as Castiel stood suddenly hiding the crayon behind his back before he nodded moving to follow him hiding the yellow crayon in his pocket as he rounded the corner. Missing the blue crayon that rolled from the darkness from under the bed, a child had slammed his hand on it gripping it tightly before pulling it back into the darkness.

  


_______________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

 

**Castiel’s POV: Twelve years later**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Castiel walked around making his normal rounds of the day as an intern in the mental asylum, he normally checked on patients, did headcounts and helped with distributing medication to the nonviolent patients. Normal intern stuff, really.

 

“Good morning, Adam,” Castiel spoke as he walked past the door getting his normal hellos or noises as he checked off each box for the patients inside the room for a headcount and check. He paused when he got to the lonely room in the corner by itself. This was the only room Castiel ever actually peered into. Castiel pushed up onto his tiptoes to see inside the room that always looked empty. His eyes slid over the lifeless room.

 

“...And Good morning to you, Dean.” Castiel whispered.

 

Dean Winchester, the only patient in isolation in room three o’ two. He never leaves the room, isn’t allowed free time. The only thing he is allowed is crayons and paper, an Occasional book every month. However, Castiel was never allowed to interact with Dean, which apparently Dean avoided contact with everyone and would normally remain in the shadows. Sometimes if Castiel listened carefully, he could hear a crayon scratching away.

 

Castiel kneeled down at the door softly pulling out a candy out from his pocket sliding it under the door as far as he could slide it...but far enough that Dean had to come out slightly to get it. Castiel heard the crayon stop, when a large muscular arm slid out from under the bed wrapping his hand around the candy before sliding it into the darkness.

 

The most he ever saw of Dean.

 

Castiel cursed as someone clearing their throat made Castiel get off the floor to see two asylum attendants standing there eyeing him.

 

“D...Dropped my pen, but I found it.” Castiel lied as the two men exchanged looks before looking at the eighteen-year-old.

 

“You know you aren’t cleared to be messing with him, and your father forbids you from being anywhere near the violent patients.” The first man spoke.

 

“He wants me to be a doctor here and eventually run this place,” Castiel mumbled not looking at him. “It’s going to happen eventually, Balthazar.” Balthazar made a face.

 

“It’s true.” The man next to Balthazar made balthazar turn annoyed, Benny was the muscle of the place. He normally followed Balthazar around since Balthazar was cleared to deal with the violent ones.

 

“You aren’t helping,” Balthazar spoke as he pounded on Dean’s door. “You need to go Castiel.” Castiel nodded as he simply took two steps back but didn’t leave which made Balthazar sigh but he continued.

 

“Patient, bath time. Get up, hands through slots. Once the hands are handcuffed, I will open the door. Keep your hands in the slot till the rest of you is cuffed. Any funny business and you’ll get put down.” Balthazar spoke as they heard movement. Castiel took in the hands he had grown too familiar with seeing after all these years of his father working here. Benny handcuffed Dean as Castiel tried to get a good look at his face but long shaggy messed up knotted hair covered his face. Balthazar lazily unlocked then opened the door like normal which Dean moved with the door opening. Balthazar came around the door and inside when Benny moved to follow, the door suddenly rammed into him throwing him back against the wall knocking him out.

 

“Benny!” Castiel moved checking on him when he heard Balthazar yelp.”Balthazar!”

 

Castiel bolted into the room to see a large and muscular man lowering Balthazar’s knocked out body. Castiel looked surprised at the shirtless man who had his back to him. He was panting as he moved to leave when he noticed Castiel standing there. Before Castiel could react he was pinned by his neck against the wall. Castiel took in the bloody and broken wrist from his other hand getting the cuff off.

 

“D-” Castiel grunted trying to fight the choking, he couldn’t speak, couldn’t breath. When he reached into his pocket pulling out a yellow crayon. Dean paused his eyes seeing it under the locks of hair he paused his attack. Loosening his grip and softly lowered Castiel who panted roughly Dean softly placed a hand on his chest keeping him from collapsing.

 

“...C...Cas?” Dean whispered remembering long ago when they were kids.

 

“Y-Yes Dean.” Castiel panted gaining his composer as guards came to stop Dean with batons. Castiel put his hand back telling them to get back which the guards hesitantly listened. “Dean, I’m going to walk you to the bath, okay? You are going to be good, no one will hurt you. They will come help the other guards out of the cell after we leave okay?”

 

Dean hesitantly nodded as Castiel held out his hand, Dean looked scared at first but softly took Castiel’s hand as he walked him out without handcuffs or shackles walking him down the hall to the private bathrooms. Castiel softly closed the door, letting out a breath.

 

Dean...listened to him.

 

He normally helped with bathing normal patients when they needed so this wasn’t too weird. Just...kind of weird the boy he was so curious about him all these years was standing next to him.

 

“Um, just strip down and get in the bath,” Castiel spoke unable to stop the blush on his face, it only got worse when Dean got into the water. Castiel turned seeing what honestly looked like a shaggy poodle in the tub. Castiel walked over with hair shampoo cleaning it as Dean sat in the tub but he couldn’t get his fingers through it. “Your hair is so knotted and it...smells. Can...you even see?”

 

“....” Dean shook his head no, Castiel paused knowing the reason was most likely he was a violent inmate and they didn’t want him near scissors but… Castiel softly walked to a locked door unlocking it.

 

“Dean...I’m going to cut your hair okay?” Castiel stated Dean said nothing as Castiel moved to him. The first cut was easy, Dean didn’t react or flinch as Castiel cut the knots and locks out. Castiel cut the last one, taking the last lock and tossing them in the trash. Castiel quickly locked back up the scissors before he turned. “There. Let me just-”

 

Castiel paused looking into...a face he never thought he would see under there. Dean...was fucking hot. Castiel blinked in surprise as he seemed taken back looking at his sun-kissed freckles and his...piercing green eyes. Dean looked at him softly blinking his thick eyelashes at Castiel.

 

Was this guy the feared guy in the asylum?

 

Castiel composed himself walking over and washing his hair when a knock on the door made Dean and Castiel turn.

 

“Castiel you alright?” Benny called as Castiel touched Dean’s shoulder to calm him.

 

“I’m alright,” Castiel spoke as Dean tensed. “I’m going to let Benny in Dean. It’s okay, it’s just the rules. He won’t harm you.” Castiel spoke as Castiel moved to let Benny in. Benny came in glaring at Dean. “Dean is good, no one is hurt...badly. Dean is being very nice, you are going to be very nice while I finish bathing him and put him back in the cell.”

 

“...” Benny then looked at Castiel annoyed.

 

“Look, he trusts me. He listens to me.” Castiel spoke. “This is going well. Let’s let it end well.” Castiel took his time to clean Dean’s body. Dean closed his eyes feeling Castiel clean his hair and when Castiel got to his body Castiel had a hard time keeping his face from turning red. He cleaned his body well, like he would with other patients and when it was time to dress. Castiel found himself some clean sweatshirt, t-shirt, and sweatpants.  


Dean found something that fit way better than before, Castiel helping him into new slippers as well. Dean said nothing just watching him as though studying him as Castiel patched up his arm.

 

“Come on, Dean.” Castiel held out his hand as Dean took it. Castiel walked Dean towards his cell as a bunch of guards stood by in case he tried to attack. Castiel walked him up to the cell softly placing a candy in Dean’s hand. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Dean.”

 

Dean softly took the candy before Dean simply retired into his cell quietly moving to slide under the bed. Castiel watched as the sound of Dean’s crayons continued as Castiel heard the door lock. Castiel turned seeing his father pissed, as Castiel’s smile faded.

 

“Castiel in my office. _Now_.” Jimmy spoke as Castiel sighed and followed him towards his office.

 

__________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

**Castiel’s POV:**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Jimmy moved to take a seat in his head chair as Castiel took a seat with a sigh. He could feel his father’s stares as Castiel crossed his arms.

 

“What were you _thinking_ _._ ” Jimmy snapped.

 

“I stopped the situation from escalating,” Castiel spoke.

 

“At the risk of your own life.” Jimmy snapped. “My men are trained to handle violent patients.”

 

“Look, Dean was good with me there for some reason he trusts me,” Castiel spoke. “Maybe I can help rehabilitate him." 

 

“You stay away from him,” Jimmy spoke. “He’s too dangerous.”

 

“But-” Castiel tried to argue but Jimmy silenced him.

 

“If I find out you were anywhere near him again, I’m going to end your internship here,” Jimmy stated coldly as Castiel shut his mouth tightening it in a sneer. “Are we in an understanding of what I expect from you here.”

 

“...Yes father.” Castiel stated before getting up and storming off. Jimmy could only sigh leaning back in the chair as he rubbed his face before lighting his pipe and going back to work.

 

_________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

**Castiel’s POV:**

  
  
  
  
  


 

 

Castiel stood at the nurse station sighing annoyed as he watched his father down the hall saying goodbye to his secretary before he headed towards his car to head home. Castiel was all ready to go home carrying his messenger bag, given the same hours as his father. Most likely to keep a better eye on his son.

 

“Man, you and your father fight like cats and dogs,” Balthazar spoke as Castiel turned to look over at the desk lazily. “He pays your bills, be a good boy.” Castiel rolled his eyes.

 

“He’s set in his ways,” Castiel spoke. “He thinks things are black and white. When all I see is gray.”

 

“Poor rich boy,” Balthazar spoke as Castiel rolled his eyes playfully. “I’d keep my mouth shut if that got my bills paid. Believe me.” Balthazar wrote in some papers on the desk.

 

“I believe in what’s _right_ _._ ” Castiel stated.

 

“ _Right_ doesn’t get your bills paid,” Balthazar mumbled working. “Besides, your _right_ is always anything that pisses off your father…” Castiel groaned.

 

“My father’s just the worst," Castiel whined leaning on the desk.

 

“Hey, Balthazar. Three o’ two isn’t eating.” A nurse passing placing a food tray on the table walking away as Balthazar sighed.

 

“Really?!” Balthazar sighed annoyed leaning over the desk looking at her as Castiel’s attention perked up. “But I’m about to be off!”

 

“You’re the only one authorized to deal with him.” She spoke as Balthazar growled in annoyed moving to have the tray but Castiel snatched it.

 

“I-I got it.” Castiel spoke beaming as Balthazar eyed him annoyed before sighing and glancing at the clock.

 

“You stole my keys.” Balthazar stated handing them to him. “You never got them from me and you _will_ put them back in my locker when done.”

 

“Y-Yes.” Castiel spoke as he set his bag down moving away happily as Balthazar rolled his eyes crossing his arms.

 

“Lord help that boy.” Balthazar sighed moving to change and go home.

 

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**Castiel’s POV:**

  
  
  
  
  
  


 

Castiel opened the door hesitantly hearing the crayon stop its harsh scratching suddenly, Castiel glanced around seeing no one but knew Dean liked to hide in the dark despite the room barely being lit it was still too bright.

 

“Dean?” Castiel whispered as he softly looked around not seeing him before getting on his knees peeking under the bed to barely making him out. “It’s me, Cas.” Castiel spoke as he softly took out the yellow crayon rolling it under the bed to Dean. Castiel watched Dean snatch the crayon suspiciously before Castiel continued. “I heard you didn’t eat today, so...I wanted to know if you’ll eat if I keep you company…?”

 

The yellow crayon rolled back to Castiel as he softly caught it putting it in his pocket before he offered the tray to Dean who snatched an apple off quickly making Castiel slightly jump at the rough movement. He watched Dean roughly bite into the apple getting to the core before he used his longer nails to pull out the seeds and shove them into the cracks in the cement floor. Castiel watched him curiously taking in his actions with care.

 

“What are you doing, Dean?” Castiel asked moving to lay on his belly watching him lazily as Dean continued softly mumbling to himself.

 

“If I plant them, they will grow.” Dean mumbled as he took his water and poured some water onto it. “If I don’t, they die.” Castiel paused, he wasn’t wrong. “...But they never grow. They just die.”

 

“It’s because you keep them in the dark.” Castiel whispered as he softly sat up moving the bed, which caused Dean to flinch till Dean and the seeds were in the moonlight. Dean paused as he softly looked at Castiel before looking at the seeds. “They need light to grow.”

 

“...” Dean said nothing as Castiel took a seat in front of him as he slid the tray over.

 

“Just like you need food to grow too.” Castiel whispered placing the tray in front of him before he got up leaving Dean alone. Dean watched him walk to the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Dean.”

 

Dean said nothing as he simply turned to the food, moving him and the tray back under the bed but leaving the seeds exposed to the light before he started eating as the crayon scratched away.

 

____________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Castiel’s POV:**

 

 

 

 

Castiel stared down at the keys as he walked to put them in Balthazar’s locker, he opened the locker before staring at the hook. Castiel...should put them back but...Castiel glanced around before sliding them into his bag. If he makes a copy of Dean’s cell key, who is really going to know or care.

 

Castiel left the asylum heading to the nearest hardware store, getting in before the doors closed and made himself an extra key before heading home.

  
  
  
  
  
  


 

 

 

 

 

The next morning Castiel arrived early opening Balthazar’s locker to slide the keys back in.

 

“Did you forget to put them back?” Balthazar asked leaning against the doorway, Castiel jumped at his voice. Balthazar had just arrived wearing his normal street clothes, looking his he just got in.

 

“Yeah, sorry.” Castiel handed him the keys as Balthazar took them.

 

“You got him to eat?” Balthazar asked as Castiel nodded. “I’m impressed normally we have to force him to eat with tubes after he’s not eaten for a while.” Castiel cringed at that but Balthazar tossed his keys up a couple times. “Got the magic touch, Cas.”

 

Castiel gave him a half smile as Balthazar moved to get ready. Castiel’s smile faded once he turned away moving to dress for work.


	2. Dean's Ghost

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Castiel’s POV:**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Castiel sat in the asylum game room, keeping track of the people in the asylum patients who were playing board games, coloring and watching tv. Castiel sat behind the protective glass office that sat in the corner of the room for the nurses and security to keep an eye on the patients and protect them in case the worse case scenario of a riot.

 

Castiel was reading what file they had on Dean to the nurses, but most was missing most likely for his father only. Only small information and what mental illnesses Dean possessed.

 

“Hey,” Benny spoke coming in making Castiel jump closing the tab on the computer.

 

“Jesus.” Castiel held his chest.

 

“Sorry.” Benny laughed as he took a seat next to him as Castiel reopened the tab. “Reading more about Dean?”

 

“I just feel like I missed something,” Castiel spoke closing the tab when he realized they know everything. 

 

“Nothing changes looking at that file,” Benny said. “You can’t change his level of crazy.”

 

“...” Castiel said nothing as Balthazar came in.

 

“Boring in here too?” Balthazar asked coming in and taking a seat on Castiel’s lap who snorted holding his waist.

 

“Yeah,” Castiel said as Balthazar groaned tiredly. “How is Jack?” 

 

Balthazar tiredly rubbed his face at the mention of his son, Balthazar was the oldest of the friends. He was twenty-seven, a single father after his ex-wife abandoned their son and left him for another man. Balthazar’s eight-year-old son was a sweetheart but life was hard for Balthazar being a single parent. Balthazar was always stuck trying to sneak some overtime since he was already struggling but also having to be home for his son.

 

“He’s not very good at school,” Balthazar spoke. “Bad at math. I’m bad at math, so blind leading the blind.”

 

“Why didn’t you say anything, I can help him.” Benny offered. 

 

Benny was the second oldest, Benny was only twenty-three. He was a single bachelor. He came from a middle-class family, he was top of his classes in school and definitely was a ladies man. Despite the fact, Castiel has never seen him show interest in any woman or heard of him dating one but he had his suspicions. He liked to spend his free time helping out Balthazar or staying late for over time.

 

“Would you mind helping him?” Balthazar asked hopeful.

 

“Of course not,” Benny spoke. “I love math.” 

 

“Thank you! I owe you big time.” Balthazar moved to hug him as Benny tensed at the touch, his red face obvious as Balthazar pulled back waving as he moved to leave. “Cool, mind taking me home?”

 

“Of course I don’t mind,” Benny spoke.

 

“Okay, see you in a bit. Thanks.” Balthazar spoke.

 

“...” Cas watched Benny looking conflicted. “You know, he won’t know you like him unless you tell him. He’s a moron.”

 

“I-I’m not gay.” Benny went redder as he stood to leave.

 

“Okay,” Castiel spoke before he moved go back to watching the patients.

 

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**Balthazar’s POV:**

  
  
  
  


Balthazar held his bag as he waited for benny in street clothes, he stood at the front desk when he noticed Castiel walking down the hall with his lab coat looking at paperwork. 

 

“Are you still working?” Balthazar asked as Castiel glanced up.

 

“I got approved overtime because Adam has been having night terrors. Someone has to log the episodes. I volunteered.” Castiel spoke as Balthazar nodded.

 

“Oh man, sucks. How long are you staying?” Balthazar asked.

 

“I’m only approved till four am.” Castiel laughed. “Just four hours.” 

 

“Well have fun,” Balthazar spoke as Benny walked over placing a hand on Balthazar’s lower back making Balthazar turn. 

 

“Ready?” Benny asked as Balthazar nodded saying their goodbyes as they walked to the car, Balthazar got in as he sighed closing his eyes taking a bit before turning to Benny who started to drive.  Balthazar softly placed his hand on Benny’s that was on the near shift who blushed taken back by the touch. 

 

“Thank you so much for your help,” Balthazar stated as Benny blushed. “You’re a good friend.” 

 

“...” Benny nodded hiding his almost disappointment as he gave him a half smile. “Anything for you.” Balthazar gave him a half smile before moving his hand away. Benny watched him for a moment before driving towards Balthazar’s home.

 

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**Benny’s POV:**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Balthazar walked into his house as his son Jack bolted over him, Balthazar kneeled down holding him tightly as Jack beamed.

 

“Daddy!” Jack spoke as Balthazar planted kisses on his face. Balthazar hummed as Jack noticed Benny. “Benny!” Jack moved to hug Benny as he picked him up.

 

“Hey, kiddo,” Benny spoke as Balthazar walk over to the babysitter. Benny noticed the exchange between the babysitter and Balthazar. She told him how much he owed her, and apparently, Balthazar was a little behind in payment. Balthazar made a face as he looked at his wallet he didn’t have enough again. Benny put Jack on the floor before he pulled out his wallet paying for it. 

 

“Benny-” Balthazar seemed taken back.

 

“It’s fine,” Benny spoke. “This all he owes you?” She nodded as she shoved the money into her pocket before she said goodnight and left. Balthazar turned to Benny who had picked up Jack again.

 

“Why did you do that? You know I hate owing people money.” Balthazar stated crossing his arms.

 

“Which is why I paid it. Now you owe Nothing.” Benny beamed. 

 

“No, Now I owe you,” Balthazar stated. 

 

“Make me your famous spaghetti and we will call it even.” Benny shrugged as he turned away from Balthazar ignoring his angry face. “Hey, buddy I heard you weren’t doing so well with math.” 

 

“Math is stupid.” Jack sighed. 

 

“Well, I’m going to make you love it as much as I do,” Benny stated as he put it down. “Go get your homework. We will do homework while daddy’s making dinner.”

 

“Okay.” Jack left towards his room as Balthazar continued to look at Benny annoyed as he pulled out stuff for spaghetti. 

 

“I’ll pay you back,” Balthazar spoke as Benny rolled his eyes smiling at him. “The spaghetti is for helping with the homework, not the money.” Benny wasn’t going to argue but he wasn’t going to let him pay him back. Jack came back as Benny and him took a seat at the table starting the math homework before dinner.

 

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**Castiel’s POV:**

  
  
  
  
  


Castiel glanced around before pulling out the spare key to Dean’s cell, Pulling it open before sliding in. Castiel made sure he didn’t hear any nightly guards coming this way when he was sure the coast was clear he turned to walk deeper into the room. He jumped when he almost collided with Dean’s chest, Castiel jumped holding his chest with his heart attack he was just blessed with. Dean tilted his head curiously as Castiel placed a hand on his chest. 

 

“Dean, you scared me.” Castiel panted.

 

“...Did I?” Dean asked seriously. 

 

“...Not really.” Castiel spoke softly smiling at him before he stuck his hand into his pocket and pulled out a candy. Dean stared at it before snatching it and climbing onto the bed squatted down as though he was expecting to run or fight. “Can I sit next to you?”

 

Dean nodded hesitantly as Castiel took a seat next to him before offering him another candy as Dean popped the first into his mouth. Castiel paused when he noticed the bed pulled back to let the seed get light before he noticed the paper on Dean’s floor. Castiel leaned down taking one of the papers from the floor, he eyed the beautiful crayon drawing. 

 

“Dean, this is beautiful,” Castiel whispered when it was snatched away and held protectively to Dean’s chest. Obviously uncomfortable with Castiel touching or looking at it so he didn’t press it. Castiel’s eyes slid over the other drawings of a woman with blonde hair on the floor looking cold and uncaring. “Do you know her? ....Is she someone special to you?”

 

Dean said nothing he looked so cold as he pulled the art from his chest and stared at it before he frowned and snapped angrily ripped it up. 

 

“Dean?” Castiel spoke surprised as Dean angrily moved to the ground ripping them up till they were in the smallest pieces he could muster. Dean tossed the pieces angrily at the wall before he punched the wall causing a sickening crack of Dean’s fist hitting cement. Castiel flinched. “D-Dean!” 

 

Dean gripped his head as panicking before he moved to quickly slide down the bed. Castiel lifted his feet as Dean did and didn’t start to move until Dean was heard scratching away with a crayon. Castiel put his foot back on the ground cautiously, Dean continued to scratching away. Castiel softly kneeled down near the bed, taking his crayon from his pocket he softly rolled it into the darkness. 

 

It...didn’t roll back.

 

Castiel softly took the hint and placed a candy on the floor before he got up to leave. Castiel collected some of the ripped up paper pieces on his way out. Castiel shoved it in his pocket before heading home. 

 

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**Castiel’s POV:**

  
  
  
  
  
  


Castiel slouched as he slept at the nurse's station when he was supposed to be watching the patients. Castiel snapped awake when Benny came into the room. 

 

“Sorry, I was trying to be quiet,” Benny spoke taking a seat next to him.

 

“It’s okay, I had a nap at lunch.” Castiel rubbed his eyes as he cleaned up his area when Benny took in a put together ripped up art photo. Benny softly took it before Castiel could object. 

 

“This one of Dean’s drawings, huh?” Benny spoke as Castiel nodded.

 

“Got it from the trash.” Castiel lied. 

 

“He does draw her a lot,” Benny spoke as Balthazar came in. 

 

“Sup?” Balthazar asked as Benny handed Balthazar the drawing. Balthazar eyed it taking in the art. “I call her Dean’s ghost. I’ve never seen her draw anything else. I throw ripped up pictures every day when I clean out his room every week when it gets bad.”

 

“Who she is?” Castiel asked as Balthazar handed it back. 

 

“No idea,” Balthazar spoke. “Maybe she was a patient?”

 

“No, I checked,” Castiel spoke. “I spent half the night going over photos of blonde female patients. She’s not a patient here.”

 

“Then he made her up. Who cares.” Balthazar asked as Castiel made a face.

 

“I care,” Castiel stated with a scoff as Balthazar shrugged accepting the answer. 

 

“Well, if I were you, I would ask Bobby. He’s been around since forever since the place opened. So he would know all the patients. I wouldn’t trust the paperwork around here. The old administration kept shitty records.” Balthazar suggested petting Castiel’s hair affectionately.

 

“Thanks. I’ll ask him.” Castiel spoke as Balthazar eyed him. 

 

“Ask him later. Go sleep in an empty room. You look horrible.” Balthazar stated as Castiel gave him a thankful smile. “One O’ three. Go.” Castiel beamed in relief as he moved to take the advice. Balthazar took a seat next to Benny who watched him for a moment. “...Can you take me home?” Benny nodded as Balthazar took his hand giving it a loving squeeze before watching the patients, Benny eventually turned to do so too.

 

_______________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Castiel’s POV:**

  
  
  
  
  
  


After a much-needed nap, Castiel walked down to the records room seeing bobby lazily playing candy crush. Castiel walked up knocking on the glass as Bobby glanced up at him from behind the protective glass.

 

“Hey, Bobby. I need your help with something.” Castiel spoke as Bobby didn’t move.

 

“Everyone needs something,” Bobby mumbled still playing candy crush before Castiel slid Dean’s painting in the small hole for paperwork to be exchanged. Bobby picked up the painting eyeing the woman on it. “Looking for a date?”

 

“Do you recognize this woman?” Castiel asked hopefully. “Might have been a former patient?” Bobby put on his glasses glancing at the woman before he set it down tapping at her beauty mark on her face. 

 

“Likeness is uncanny,” Bobby spoke. 

 

“So she  _ was _ a patient here?!” Castiel asked lighting up as Bobby stood. 

 

“No,” Bobby spoke going into the back and pulling out an old box covered in dust. He blew on it and opened the folder. Going through the files till he pulled out a file for a woman who had a photo paperclipped to the front. Bobby handed it over, as Castiel looked at the uncanny photo to the coloring. “...She was a nurse. Jessica Moore.” 

 

Castiel glanced up in surprise before he opened the file looking at the woman who had a group photo of all the nurses standing in front of the asylum looking new. She was smiling with eleven other nurses. 

 

“Can I keep this?” Castiel mumbled reading.

 

“No. All records were sealed by the old administration.” Bobby closed the file while he was reading.

 

“Hey!” Castiel spoke before he tried to take it away, but Castiel put his hand on it. “Please...I-I’m trying to help Dean.” 

 

“...” Bobby eyed him. “I’m going to turn away to play candy crush….what happens when my head is turned around. I’m not responsible.” Bobby turned going back to his game as Castiel took the file bolting out, Bobby waited a moment before turning and placing the box back in the back where it belonged before going back to his game once more.

 

______________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  


**Castiel’s POV:**

  
  
  
  


Castiel slid the file into his bag as Balthazar came in to change, Castiel jumped as Balthazar jumped as well. 

 

“Jesus!” Balthazar panted holding his chest. “Trying to give me a heart attack?”

 

“Sorry Sorry.” Castiel laughed.

 

“Shifts over, heading home?” Balthazar asked. 

 

“Yeah, I just got a few things I got to do before heading out.” Castiel lied. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 

“Alright. Get some sleep.” Balthazar spoke as Castiel walked out. Castiel hated lying to his friends but he couldn’t tell Balthazar he stole a copy of his key and has been visiting Dean every night. So the secrets had to continue. 

 

“Night.” Castiel spoke moving to look busy till the asylum was practically empty except for the night staff, Castiel moved to Dean’s cell. Castiel slid in hearing the crayon stop at his sound. “Dean?” 

 

Castiel smiled when the yellow crayon was rolled out from under the bed, Castiel softly took a seat on the floor as he softly pushed the bed exposing Dean who glanced up at him softly. 

 

“Good morning Dean,” Castiel spoke softly petting his hair, Dean blinked his beautiful eyelashes at him.

 

“Morning,” Dean whispered as Castiel smiled at the greeting. 

 

“Can I see your hand?” Castiel spoke as Dean moved his swollen hand to Castiel. Castiel took in the bruised hand, softly feeling the bone. Dean didn’t flinch as Castiel moved over the bruise. “You didn’t break your hand, that’s good...Does it hurt?” Dean nodded as Castiel stood holding his hand out for Dean. “I’ll go get you ice.” 

 

Castiel stood leaving Dean’s door unlocked as he headed towards the medical bay and coming back with an Ice pack. Castiel paused seeing the door was cracked open as he moved inside. 

 

“Dean?” Castiel spoke but he no longer heard Dean scratching away. He looked under the bed seeing nothing as Castiel bolted out of the room. “Dean?” 

 

Castiel moved running down the hall looking around for Dean, he paused when he found him sitting in the playroom softly coloring at a table with some of the crayons left over. Dean quietly sat there peacefully coloring in the empty room as Castiel takes a deep breath. 

 

“Dean, you scared me.” Castiel moved to him petting his hair softly.

 

“Sorry…” Dean spoke as Castiel placed the ice on his hand. 

 

“If anyone would have caught you, you would have been hurt,” Castiel spoke as Dean continued to draw. “Please don’t leave without me again.”

 

“...” Dean said nothing as he continued to color, Castiel softly continued to play with dean’s hair letting Dean calmly color.

 

“....Okay, you can be out here for only for a little bit, then you have to go back.” Castiel whispered. It was an hour later that Castiel whispered it was time to go. Dean got up hesitantly with a couple of nudges as Dean collected his picture before Castiel went to the door to make sure it was safe and clear to sneak back. 

 

“Dean-” Castiel turned to usher him along but Dean was softly dancing and moving in the room with a little more room to move. It was soft and easy movements. Almost as though it scared him to be so free. “Dean.” 

 

Dean snapped out of it as he moved to Castiel as Castiel take his hand and leading him to the room. When Dean got in, he instantly slid back under the bed. Castiel sighed in relief Dean was back in the room and they weren’t caught. Castiel placed a candy on the floor for Dean, as Dean glanced up slightly.

 

“Here you go, Dean,” Castiel spoke. “I’ll see you tomorrow-” Castiel paused when Dean held up the art he was working on. Castiel hesitantly took it looking at the coloring of him. Castiel took in his own face, the detail, how beautiful he looked. “...is this for me?” Dean nodded as Castiel smiled hugging the photo to his chest. “Thank you.” 

 

Dean watched Castiel leave him another piece of candy before going leaving dean alone as Dean pulled the candy under the bed and continued coloring alone in his dark room.


	3. Castiel's choice

 

 

 

**Castiel’s POV:**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Castiel stood on the porch of Jessica Moore, holding a picture Dean drew. Castiel watched the door unlock as a beautiful blonde came to the door. He could hear laughter and talking in the house as she held a toddler on her hip. 

 

“Can I help you?” Jessica asked as Castiel moved to speak.

 

“Jessica, right? The nurse that used to work at the asylum?” Castiel asked as she seemed taken back.

 

“I haven’t worked there in years,” Jessica stated confused putting the toddler down. “What can I help you with?” 

 

“I wanted to ask you about Dean,” Castiel spoke holding out the art he drew, Jessica took it looking at the art. 

 

“The boy from the asylum?” Jessica eyed him confused and suspiciously. “Why?”

 

“I was just curious if there was a reason he draws you all the time, I figured maybe you both had a connection like you were kind to him in there or-” Castiel spoke as Jessica eyed him annoyed. 

 

“Look, I  _ barely  _ interacted with the kid. I think it’s creepy he’s _ obsessed _ with me like this.” Jessica shoved the photo back at Castiel. “Don’t come back.” Jessica slammed the door in his face as Castiel blinked before glancing down at the painting of Jessica. He didn’t think this was going to be easy, but...hoped. 

 

“I guess I’m only ever going to get my answers from him,” Castiel spoke before he turned going back to his car and driving off. 

 

__________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Castiel’s POV:**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Castiel sat at home holding a wine glass, holding the painting in his hand as he enjoyed his day off...mostly just searching for answers about Dean. Castiel pulled out the yellow crayon rotating it in his fingers as he took a sip of his wine. It was so weird since visiting Dean for the first time to not visit him in secret at night but he didn’t have a reason to be a seen at work today. It would draw suspicion if he was. 

 

There was a knock on the door as he stood looking through the peephole seeing his ex-girlfriend. He closed his eyes annoyed before he opened the door to Anna who beamed at him.

 

“Hey, Cas.” She smiled eyeing him holding a wine bottle. “Thought we could kill some time instead of you spending it alone.” She touched his chest alluding to the fact she was interested in more than just hanging out. She tried to kiss him but he turned away. 

 

“Anna, we broke up senior year,” Castiel spoke. 

 

“After dating since freshman year,” Anna stated touching his chest. “What went wrong?” 

 

“Anna, you are amazing,” Castiel spoke cupping her face. “...but it’s me. It wasn’t right for me to be with you when...I don’t love you. I felt like I was just going through the motions and that wasn’t fair to you or me.”

 

“But we worked so well,” Anna spoke pressing up on her tippy toes as Castiel turned his head. “Your father loves me, we were happy and I love you. We can try again. We can make it work.” She leaned up kissing him as Castiel turned away.

 

“Anna. I...just...there’s something missing here.” Castiel spoke. “Love should be fierce, strong...and exciting…”

 

“Is this fierce?” Anna kissed him lustfully but Castiel just looked annoyed she wasn’t getting it. Castiel heard his phone ring as he pulled away from her. 

 

“Hello?” Castiel spoke on the phone as Anna put the wine bottle on the counter. 

 

“Cas, It’s me,” Balthazar spoke. “Look, I called you instead of your father-”

 

“What’s wrong?” Castiel asked seriously. 

 

“It’s Dean. He’s acting out and hurting himself.” Balthazar spoke. “I don’t know what to do but throw him in a small empty room- Drugged and bound.”

 

“I’m on my way.” Castiel hung up and moved grabbing Anna’s arm leading her out the door. “I got to go, anna.” Castiel grabbed his keys locking his door. Anna trying to make excuses but Castiel left her in the hall. 

 

“...But wait, my wine!” Anna called but Castiel was already gone. 

 

________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Castiel’s POV:**

  
  
  
  
  
  


Castiel bolted out of his parked car running inside the asylum, he didn’t even have to ask where to go, but when he got Dean’s room Balthazar turned seeing Castiel. There was screaming from Dean’s room and things being thrown. 

 

“What happened?!” Castiel asked as Balthazar sighed as Benny glanced at him.

 

“...He was asking for you.” Balthazar spoke crossing his arms. “I told him you weren’t here and he started to upset. He then started to freak out saying he didn’t want to be here. Started having a panic attack.”

 

“He broke the glass on the window with his bed and tried to escape but because of the metal bars all he accomplished was slicing his hand and arm clean open,” Benny spoke. “He won’t let anyone in to look at him, he needs to be sedated and looked at.” 

 

“I got it.” Castiel took the needle sliding it into his jean back pocket as Balthazar was hesitant.

 

“You shouldn’t go in.” Balthazar looked worried.

 

“He won’t hurt me,” Castiel spoke.

 

“But-” Balthazar tried to argue but Benny took his keys and pulled open the door. Castiel slid in seeing blood and glass everywhere, The bed was overturned and the sink was broken in half. He followed the blood seeing Dean hiding in the corner of the room holding himself. Sitting in a pile of glass crying as blood pooled in his lap as Castiel came over in worry. 

 

“Dean?!” Castiel moved to him as Dean flinched in fear when Castiel touched him. 

 

“C-Cas?” Dean whimpered as Castiel nodded moving quickly to cover his wound on Dean’s hand with a bedsheet. 

 

“Dean why did you hurt yourself?!” Castiel asked worriedly.

 

“Because I thought...you left me too...here.” Dean whimpered upset as he leaned into Castiel sobbing. “I don’t want to be here anymore. I don’t want to be here anymore.” Castiel was surprised by the affectionate touch, Castiel moved to hold him back as Dean cried. 

 

“I’d never leave you,” Castiel whispered touching his back with care as he pulled the needle out. “I promise I’ll be right here when you wake up.”    
  


Dean pulled back slightly seeing the needle, Castiel showing him what needed to be done. Dean didn’t say anything as he sniffed holding onto Castiel’s shirt as he laid his head on Castiel’s shoulder silently just accepting his fate before Castiel got him with the needle injecting him, Dean closed his eyes relaxing as he passed out to the medication. 

 

“Balthazar, Benny,” Castiel called as they came in and softly helped pick up Dean. Dean was lifeless in Benny’s hand as Castiel kept the pressure on the wound as they cared him to the medical bay. 

 

The doctor took Dean away once they entered the room, Moving to stitch up the wounds as Balthazar came up to Castiel holding himself. 

 

“Well, The room is thrashed. I’m going to have to tell your father.” Balthazar sighed. “He’s going to have to hire for repairs.” 

 

“No, don’t tell him,” Castiel spoke worried. “I have no idea what he will do with Dean if he finds out. I’ll hire someone to do the repairs at night. Let me deal with this. I will receipt them as normal repairs.” 

 

“Cas-” Balthazar hesitated.

 

“Just trust me,” Castiel spoke as he waited watching them tend to Dean. 

 

“...I don’t like this.” Balthazar spoke as Benny leaned near him.

 

“I know you don’t,” Castiel stated.

 

“Then what do we do with him?” Benny spoke as Balthazar moved to give him a wet cloth to clean off the blood. “The repairs are going to take a couple days to get a new sink and window.”

 

“And all that blood,” Balthazar mumbled.

 

“I’ll worry about him too,” Castiel spoke. “We can’t throw him in an empty room, if we get a new patient and it’s full, my father will find out.”

 

“And those rooms won’t work because they aren’t secure with his normal security.” Benny sighed. “If he has another freakout, it would be dangerous without a metal door.”

 

“I-I know people from the town over asylum that can take him for a couple days. They have solitary lockups they can hold him in.” Castiel lied. “I’ll take him in my car. Sedated of course.” 

 

“Cas-” Balthazar spoke worried.

 

“Look, I’ll go with him,” Benny spoke softly rubbing Balthazar’s arm. “Then I’ll take you home, Balthazar.”

 

“O-Oh it’s okay-” Castiel tensed but they ignored him leaving as Castiel tried to think of a way to save his lie.

 

__________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Castiel’s POV:**

  
  
  
  
  


Castiel sat in the car as Dean was slid into his backseat by Benny as Benny got into his passenger seat. 

 

“...So-” Castiel hesitated tired to explain he lied. 

 

“-there is no asylum and you plan to take him home like a lost puppy,” Benny spoke as he looked at him. “I know.” Castiel gave him a beaming smile as Benny rolled his eyes. “Are you sure he won’t hurt you or escape?”

 

“Yes. I promise.” Castiel spoke as Benny eyed Dean in the back seat. “Besides this might be good for him to be out and away from the asylum.”

 

“As long as you promise to keep him on his meds and bring him back right after they fix the room,” Benny spoke.

 

“I will.” Castiel beamed as Benny rolled his eyes. “Alright, let’s go before he wakes up.” Castiel moved to driving towards his house. 

 

When Castiel got to his house he pulled up into his garage, Castiel got out as Benny had already moved to carry Dean out. Benny roughly threw Dean over his shoulder carrying him into the house. Castiel pushed the door to his guest room open as Benny laid Dean onto the bed as Castiel tucked him in instantly before benny eyed the door. 

 

“You need to change the door so you can lock it,” Benny spoke. “Windows too.” 

 

“Windows are going to be nailed shut and I plan to switch the doorknob around so I can lock it.” Castiel lied patting his shoulders. “I’ll be fine.” Benny hesitantly nodded as Castiel walked him to the door. “I’ll get you an uber, where to?”

 

“The asylum. I need to take balthazar home.” Benny spoke as Castiel requested an uber.

 

“Oh, you have it  _ bad. _ ” Castiel snorted as Benny made a face. “You need to tell him and kind of get him out of your system before you fall for him hard.” 

 

“I’m  _ not _ falling for him... _ bad, _ ” Benny mumbled. 

 

“Who knows, he might be into  _ trying _ ,” Castiel spoke. 

 

“...I don’t want to lose him, you know?” Benny looked sad as the uber arrived. “...I’ll call to check in.” Castiel nodded watching him go before he closed the door and locked it before leaning on the door. Wondering if he thought logically thought over bringing Dean here or if he let his emotions get in the way. 

__________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Balthazar’s POV:**

  
  
  
  
  
  


Balthazar walked towards his house, benny in tow. Because of Dean, Balthazar was late home to see his son. The babysitter had fed and put him to bed by now. Balthazar paused noticing a sign on his door, Balthazar ran over yanking the letter off reading the eviction notice as Balthazar felt like crying or screaming. He didn’t think he was that far behind. He heard Benny walking over and he hid it before pushing open the door. 

 

“What was it?” Benny asked but Balthazar placed his stuff on the table before he paid the babysitter. She thanked him and left as Balthazar rubbed his face taking a second to stop himself from crying before turning to Benny. He noticed Benny reading the note, Balthazar sighed. 

 

“Benny, don’t worry about it,” Balthazar spoke tears coming to his eyes. 

 

“How far behind in rent are you?” Benny asked softly as Balthazar’s wiped his tears. 

 

“This...is it.” Balthazar laughed upset. “There’s nothing left. I got to get my shit and get out. I’m homeless.” 

 

“...Move in with me.” Benny spoke as Balthazar scoffed. 

 

“Yeah, right,” Balthazar whispered thinking he was joking.

 

“I’m serious. Move in with me.” Benny spoke moving closer. 

 

“Why would you want my problems?” Balthazar sobbed. “You don’t need my baggage.”

 

“Don’t you get it yet? Nothing about you is baggage! I love every part of it. I love your personality, I love your son and I love yo...-” Benny spoke touching his arm as Balthazar rubbed his eyes glanced up at him blinking his blue eyes. “-...u.” 

 

“W...What?” Balthazar said not understanding when Benny tensed his heart pounding as he cupping Balthazar’s face pressing him to a kiss. Balthazar’s eyes opened in surprise as Benny pulled back as Balthazar looked surprised. “...Why did you...kiss me? I don’t understand.” Balthazar was so clueless, Benny laughed with tears wanting to laugh and cry with so many emotions. 

 

“...I’m in  _ love _ with you, Balthazar...” Benny whispered as Balthazar looked surprised as Benny hesitantly cupped his face. Balthazar eyed his face as Benny softly leaned down again kissing him softly. Balthazar softly and hesitantly kissed back allowing the kisses to continue before Benny pulled back softly pausing their kisses. “...come live with me, I have plenty of room for you both.”

 

“...And...your feelings for me?” Balthazar spoke hesitantly. “...What if...It doesn’t work?”

 

“Then we go back to being friends,” Benny spoke. “I don’t want to pressure you to be with me, but I just...wanted you to know how I feel.”

 

“...I don’t mind...trying.” Balthazar whispered. “I think I’d be a shit boyfriend. I don’t even remember how to be in a relationship.”

 

“Neither do I,” Benny whispered. “But we can take our time and try.” Balthazar kissed his cheek and pulled back. 

 

“I should check on Jack and go to bed….I’ll think about your offer.” Balthazar blushed as Benny nodded. 

 

“I’ll see myself out...night,” Benny stated.

 

“Night…” Balthazar turned to walk to Jack’s room, Benny turned locking the door and headed home.

 

_________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Castiel’s POV:**

  
  
  
  
  


Castiel cooked some dinner for him and...his guest, whipping up some mashed potatoes, making sure the steak was done. He knew he was going all out for Dean but he wished someone would for him if he was just being in the real world for the first time. Castiel heard a noise from the bedroom, Castiel turned off the stove. 

 

“Dean?” Castiel spoke worried as he moved towards the bedroom seeing the room was empty. “Dean?!” Castiel moved to check the bathroom seeing a naked Dean closing his eyes in the shower. Dean washing himself in a real shower, really enjoying it. Castiel let out a relaxed breath as he softly moved placing some clothes for him to change into onto the sink.

 

Dean noticed Castiel smiling at him for the first time as Dean enjoyed the shower and the warm water. Castiel moved to finish cooking, as he heard ten minutes later Dean’s head softly popped out of the bedroom shyly as Castiel was placing the last couple things on the table. 

 

“Hi, Dean,” Castiel spoke as Dean looked at him. “It’s okay, come out.” Dean listened to him slowly coming out of the shadows. “I...I made dinner. I hope you like steak and potatoes.” Dean hesitated softly coming over to sit next to Castiel as Castiel smiled taking a seat as well. 

 

“....I’m not in the asylum,” Dean spoke. 

 

“You’ll be staying with me till we fix your room.” Castiel spoke as Dean glanced around before Castiel picked up his own fork and knife moving to eat. 

 

“...Could...I have a knife?” Dean asked hesitantly as Castiel paused. He really shouldn’t give him knives or anything that can be a weapon...Castiel got up getting him a knife.

 

“I trust you,” Castiel spoke as Dean hesitated but took it cutting his steak quietly and eating. Castiel moved to eat as well, Dean was eating a bit faster than him but he was also really enjoying it. Dean finished his plate as Castiel glanced up as Dean held out his plate softly. 

 

“...could...I have some more?” Dean whispered as Castiel smiled giving him some more food. Castiel gave it back to Dean who then softly held his hand out. 

 

“What do you need dean?” Castiel asked softly checking his soda. 

 

“...My pills.” Dean whispered as Castel nodded remembering as he moved to the pills he had taken to give Dean but when he poured the first set of pills in his hand. However, he paused before putting them back and grabbing vitamins from his own cabinet then gave them to Dean.

 

“Here Dean,” Castiel spoke as Dean took them without question. 

 

Castiel took a seat again watching Dean eat as he finished his own food. Castiel cleaned up the food when Dean finished his plate. Dean watched him clean up as Dean shy and almost ready to bolt if needed. When Castiel was done he softly held his hand to Dean. 

 

“Would you like to watch a movie?” Castiel asked. Dean blinked not understanding as he took his hand and follow. Dean was sat on the seat, as Castiel sat next to him turning on the tv as Dean looked shocked. Dean looked panicked not really understanding what it was as Castiel quickly turned it off. “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t know it would scare you.” 

 

Dean held his head looking at the Tv confused as Castiel touched his shoulder, as Dean looked up at him. 

 

“Have you...never seen a TV before?” Castiel spoke as Dean shook his head no. It was almost impossible… How could he had never seen a tv before? “Dean...when were you first admitted to the asylum?”

 

“...Admitted?” Dean asked confused.

 

“When were you put in your room?” Castiel asked. 

 

“...I’ve always been in my room?” Dean spoke as he tilted his head. “Home.” 

 

“No, Where is your real home? With your parents?” Castiel asked as Dean shook his head holding himself. Castiel stood getting Dean’s crayons and paper as he set it on the counter. “Dean, can you draw me something? Draw the first place you remember as far back as you can remember. ” 

 

Dean got on his knees moving to the coffee table and picked up some crayons looking at them before he started to color. Castiel watched as Dean colored the asylum room as Castiel sighed getting nowhere, Dean noticed Castiel’s disappointment before he looked down. 

 

“Home,” Dean whispered as he handed him the picture, Castiel took his photo with a sigh eyeing it before ruffling his hair. 

 

“Thank you for trying Dean,” Castiel spoke and stood before he paused moving to Jessica’s file as he placed a thumb over Jessica before taking a seat next to Dean. “Dean do you recognize anyone in the photo?” 

 

Dean eyed the photo as he took in the faces of the nurses posing and having fun, Dean pointed to Ellen, a couple other nurses then….a doctor walking into the work. His was facing away from the camera.

 

“Dean? Who is that?” Castiel asked. 

 

“The bad man,” Dean spoke sightly upset as he paused slightly seeing Jessica’s face before he moved Castiel’s thumb. Dean softly took the photo and looked at it. Castiel was worried about Dean’s reaction...but...he looked just sad. Dean rubbed his thumb over her with care and sadness.

 

“Dean...Who is she to you?” Castiel asked as Dean said nothing as he softly handed back the photo moving to lay on the couch resting his head on Castiel’s knee. Castiel softly pet Dean’s hair as Castiel once again tried the tv. Dean flinched only slightly but Dean eventually got used to it. Softly feeling Castiel pet his hair, as he softly fell asleep. Castiel stared at the photo of the nurses taking them all in before his eyes fell on the man in the background. 

 

Who was he?


	4. Bobby

 

 

 

 

**Castiel’s POV:**

  
  
  
  
  
  


Castiel woke softly his eyes buried in warmth of his bed after a long day of bailing Dean out of the asylum he found himself needing sleep to just absorb today. Castiel however, didn’t expect to find himself holding Dean in his arm. Dean curled into his chest as Castiel crushed him to his chest, how almost natural it felt…

 

Castiel softly let go of Dean who snuggled closer to the warmth Castiel’s arms had brought them. Castiel hesitantly put them back holding him as Castiel watched Dean sleep. Dean was put to bed in the extra room...he must have come in here when Castiel was asleep. Castiel softly played with Dean’s hair till Dean slowly slid his eyes open.

 

“Good morning…” Castiel spoke. “Did you have a nightmare?” Dean shook his head yes, and buried his face in Castiel’s chest once more. “What do you dream about Dean?” 

 

“...The bad man.” Dean spoke. 

 

“What did he do Dean?” Castiel whispered as Dean softly raised his hand looking at his hand in the air to the sunlight rays. Castiel looked at the scars on Dean’s hand and the stitches from his recent wounds. 

 

“...He locked me away. He took my sunshine away…” Dean stated as Castiel watched Dean place his hand back down. 

 

“I promise Dean, I won’t let anyone take your sunshine away again,” Castiel whispered back as Dean softly smiled at that. Castiel softly moved out of the bed as Dean watched him get out clothes for him and Dean. “Ready to get dressed?”

 

Dean nodded as he climbed out as well, Castiel turned away to change as he heard Dean changing. When Castiel was dressed he hesitantly turned to Dean seeing him moving to put on his shirt, Castiel’s eyes slid up his abs before turning away. 

 

“What would you like for breakfast, Dean?” Castiel whispered as Dean shrugged not really knowing options. 

 

“Can we have some food like last night?” Dean asked shyly as Castiel turned and made a sad face. 

 

“I don’t have anymore but...how about I surprise you with something yummy? Trust me. You’ll like it.” Castiel spoke as Dean smiled and nodded. Castiel picked up his cellphone to order food as Dean held a picture frame of Castiel and a woman when Castiel was small. “...That’s my mom. She passed a while ago…Please be careful with it.”

 

Dean nodded and stared down at the photo wearing clothes a bit too small for him, to be fair, Castiel was shorter and not as built as Dean. Dean softly set it down before he moved to Castiel once again holding out his hand. 

 

“Pills. Got it.” Castiel moved grabbing vitamins and not his real medication from his cabinet and handed them to Dean with water who took them before handing the cup back and moved to look around more. Castiel heard a knock on his door seeing Benny which he opened it. “Just in time for breakfast if you want to wait for them.”

 

“I got work, came to check on you.” Benny beamed as he eyed Dean who seemed much calmer than usual looking at the place with his eyes. “How is he doing?” 

 

“Much better,” Castiel confessed. “Hasn’t broken anything or self-harmed since coming here. No anger either.” 

 

“Maybe you were right,” Benny spoke. “Maybe he needed a break from the asylum.” Dean gave a sight shy wave to Benny who softly waved back. “Well, if you are fine here. I’ll go. I wanted to make sure everything was okay.”

 

“Wait, can you do me a big favor?” Castiel spoke as he handed him a list of the nurses he needed files on. “Can you get this from bobby?”

 

“...He doesn’t like me.” Benny blinked as Castiel scoffed laughing. 

 

“He doesn’t like anyone,” Castiel spoke to Benny as Benny took the list, the door rang. Castiel moved to it collecting the donuts, and milk from the delivery guy. Benny decided to take his leave as Dean slightly hid behind the couch. Castiel turned placing the food near the couch as Dean came back from trying to disappear behind the couch looking on curiously as Castiel ushered him over. “You are going to  _ love _ these.”

 

Dean climbed onto the couch as Castiel opened the box, as Dean eyed the donuts shyly. 

 

“Here which one do you want?” Castiel spoke as Dean pointed to a maple donut. 

 

Castiel handed it to him which Dean blinked at the weird feeling of it in his hand as Castiel took a chocolate. Castiel took a bite casually as Dean watched to make sure he wasn’t holding it weird or how exactly to eat it but once he took a bite down he almost instantly ate the whole thing before going for another. Castiel hummed in satisfaction, watching Dean almost eat the donuts whole. 

 

“Do you like it?” Castiel asked as Dean chewed with a full mouth unable to speak, Castiel laughed watching Dean already going for another donut. 

 

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**Benny’s POV:**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Benny walked down to the basement, Bobby playing candy crush as Benny walked up to him sliding him the list. Bobby didn’t react. 

 

“I’m busy,” Bobby spoke as Benny sighed. 

 

“It’s for Castiel,” Benny stated. 

 

“Who?” Bobby didn’t look up as he continued to play. 

 

“...It’s to help Dean.”  Benny spoke as Bobby looked up taking the list as he walked around the room before he stacked up a bunch of files marking all the ones he collected before sliding them to benny and the list before going back to candy crush.

 

“You missed a file.” Benny pointed to the note that said ‘Dean’s original hard copy file’. 

 

“Can’t give you what we don’t have,” Bobby spoke not looking up. 

 

“That’s impossible,” Benny spoke. “Everyone here has a file. We have to have physical folders for every patient, it’s a law.” 

 

“Weird, right?” Bobby gave a light mocking chuckle as he continued to play his game, Benny stared at him for a few more minutes before realizing it was pointless and walking away with what he was given. When Benny turned the corner with the large stack he slammed straight into someone knocking the files onto the floor as he went to shove them into his backpack. 

 

“Shit I’m-” Benny started moving to pick it up.

 

“No, I’m sorry-” Balthazar moved to help when their eyes connected. 

 

“...Hey.” Benny smiled as Balthazar blushed, it was the first time they had seen each other since...deciding to try dating. Balthazar shyly looked down as he handed over the files. Benny looked at him with love and care as Balthazar blushed even harder. 

 

“Hey,” Balthazar whispered.

 

“...Um, I just have to put these somewhere but...Are you free to have lunch?” Benny spoke, Balthazar nodded. “I’ll meet you by the car?” Balthazar nodded as he left. Benny went to go to his locker placing documents inside before grabbing his car keys and heading over. 

 

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**Balthazar’s POV:**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Balthazar sat in the car holding a burger in his hand as Benny sat next to him eating in silence as well. They normally talked and hung out but now, they were silent as Balthazar finished his food. Balthazar wiped his mouth with a used napkin as he tossed it in his food bag that was now a trash bag. Benny finished wiping his own mouth before they sat back in silence...till Benny broke it.

 

“Can I kiss you?” Benny asked seriously as Balthazar went red. 

 

“I have hamburger mouth.” Balthazar looked embarrassed. 

 

“I don’t care.” Benny beamed as Balthazar nodded as he hesitantly leaned in the kiss was easy and soft. Balthazar closed his eyes enjoying what he could with the awkward positioning with the trash in the way and the center console. “...want to move?”

 

Balthazar nodded as they tried again climbing into the back with him as the nervousness returned. He was kissing his best friend, trying a relationship like this...He had never been with anyone but his ex-wife...but now...he was with his best friend. When Balthazar’s lips pressed against Benny’s again, he softly wrapping his arms around Benny’s neck as he allowed the kiss to enjoy the natural progress of their heated kiss. 

 

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**Castiel’s POV:**

  
  
  
  
  
  


Castiel sat next to Dean on the couch, helping him get used to the tablet in his hands. Castiel was teaching him how to play some online games and watch some youtube videos. Dean was getting the hang of it but every so often an ad caused him. Dean sometimes tossed it away in fear of a loud ad causing castiel to laugh. Castiel was happily cooking dinner when a knock on his door made him turn. Castiel opened it to see Benny held the folders in hand. 

 

“I owe you.” Castiel breathed. 

 

“Not yet,” Benny stated putting them on the counter. “I don’t have all of them.” 

 

“Which one are you missing?” Castiel asked looking at the folders. 

 

“Dean’s paper folder. He doesn’t have one.” Benny spoke.

 

“That’s impossible. We need those papers for audits. Date of birth, the reason for being placed in the asylum, social security numbers, and birth certificate. Everything.” Castiel stated confused. 

 

“Yes. If that doesn’t scream shady. I don’t know what else does.” Benny explained as he turned to Dean watching Dean intensely playing a game. 

 

“It’s just odd. Where is no record of Dean’s life before the asylum.” Castiel spoke before whispering. “Do you know he can’t read?”

 

“Like not at all?” Benny questioned back looking at Dean. 

 

“Not at all,” Castiel spoke. “He found my baby nephew book he left here, and he asked me what it said.”

 

“What book did he pick up?” Benny asked. 

 

“Green eggs and ham,” Castiel whispered.

 

“Yokes.” Benny punned as Castiel give him an annoyed look. 

 

“How come he never learned to read?” Castiel whispered. “He doesn’t know anything about this world! What kind of monster would lock him up and toss away the key?!”

 

“Well...Maybe someone here can give you that answer.” Benny tapped the stack as he moved to turn. “Good luck.” Castiel glanced down at the pile of folders looking at Elen’s folder on top before he went back to making dinner for him and Dean.

 

Castiel put the plates of food on the counter watching Dean put the tablet down coming over as Castiel moved the folders over.

 

“How are you feeling Dean?” Castiel asked as Dean sat started to eat. 

 

“Everything is less fuzzy,” Dean confessed. “I can make you out now. It’s weird. I never saw this good before.” Dean spoke as Castiel nodded without the drugs in Dean’s system he seemed more human, More down to earth. Like he’s real. It was odd. Castiel couldn’t put his finger on it. “I see now that I got dots on my face.”

 

“Freckles,” Castiel spoke as Dean beamed. 

 

“Is that what they are called?” Dean asked curiously as Castiel nodded. “...Cool.” Dean chewed Castiel eyed him as Dean stuffed his mouth. “This is good. What is this called?”

 

“Spaghetti,” Castiel stated as Dean hummed eating as Castiel gave him a sad look as Dean quietly kept eating. Castiel watched him happily eating, giving kind smiles to Castiel anytime their eyes met. Castiel ate in silence as he kept glancing at the folders till Dean stood. 

 

“Can I play on the thing?” Dean asked when he was done. Castiel nodded as Dean moved back to the tablet playing his game as Castiel took the folders from the counter trying with Ellen’s folder first. Going through it he pulled out his phone he dialed the number on file.

 

“This is Ellen.” She spoke as Castiel opened his mouth to speak.

 

“Hi, Ellen. This...is Castiel.” Castiel hesitated at the words. 

 

“Ah yes. Castiel Novak.” She stated. “What can I help you with?”

 

“I...have some questions about a former patient of yours. Dean.” Castiel spoke. “I’m having trouble locating his original file.”

 

“Hm. Odd.” Ellen spoke before she continued. “I can tell you what I know but I wasn’t the one who tended to him.”

 

“No, that was Jessica right?” Castiel asked.

 

“Mostly her. We all took turns to.” Ellen stated. 

 

“What was their relationship like?” Castiel asked. 

 

“They were close when I started there. Everyone was quite fond of him though.” Ellen stated. “Cute kid. Head in the clouds and face in a coloring book.” She chuckled.

 

“Did he ever have any visitors?” Castiel questioned. “I’m sure his family visited.”

 

“No, Dean never had visitors,” Ellen stated. “Never had one phone call, nothing...but if the rumors were true, it makes sense why not.”

 

“What do you mean?” Castiel asked. 

 

“Well, a rumor was he was the child of a patient there,” Ellen stated. “I never read much to it though.”

 

“Do you have any idea who?” Castiel spoke. 

 

“No. Some say he is the son of a pregnant patient whose family wanted nothing to do with him. The other rumor he was from the scandal.” Ellen stated Castiel was quiet at the thought. 

 

“...Ellen, How old was Dean when you first met him?” Castiel asked.

 

“He was barely a year old,” Ellen confessed as Castiel went quiet looking at Dean sadly. Dean...spent his whole life in that room….?

 

“Tell me about that Scandal,” Castiel spoke as Ellen sighed. 

 

“Look I really shouldn’t be sticking my nose in it...but there was a scandal involving a doctor and a patient,” Ellen stated. “...There was a rumor of a kid coming from it... maybe it was him.” 

 

“What was the doctor’s name?”  Castiel spoke. 

 

“I shouldn’t.” Ellen sighed. “It will tarnish his name and this is old news.”

 

“I just want to talk to him about Dean. That’s it.” Castiel spoke. “I won’t stir the pot…”

 

“...His name is Bobby Singer.” Ellen spoke after a moment of silence then hung up without another word. Castiel put the phone down tears filling his eyes in anger as he looked at Dean.

 

“Dean. I’ll be right back.” Castiel spoke grabbing his car keys and bolted out the door.

 

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**Bobby’s POV:**

  
  
  
  


Bobby was playing candy crush as he sat in his normal spot when his phone was yanked out of his hands and grabbed out of his hand. 

 

“Hey-!” Bobby spoke standing as Castiel looked at him in anger. 

 

“How  _ could _ you?!” Castiel spoke. “Played me like I fool! I trusted you!”

 

“What the  _ hell _ are you talking about?” Bobby spoke.

 

“ _ You’re  _ Dean’s father!” Castiel snapped as Bobby looked at him confused. 

 

“No, I ain’t.” Bobby scoffed.

 

“Is it  _ true  _ or not you slept with a patient here?!” Castiel snapped as Bobby sighed rubbing his chin. “So it is true.”

 

“Look can I explain-” Bobby spoke.

 

“I can’t believe you!” Castiel snapped.

 

“Well...Can you believe me?” A voice spoke as Castiel turned seeing a man softly looking at him. Castiel blinked as the man took his hat off moving forward. “I’m sorry to intrude, but I happen to overhear. I’m Crowley Singer. The...patient you happen to be speaking of.”

 

“...You’re gay.” Castiel turned to Bobby who nodded. “...So you...aren’t his father.”

 

“No,” Bobby spoke before Castiel softly handed bobby back his phone as Bobby moved to his husband. 

 

“I was placed into this asylum because  of ...my sexuality,” Crowley spoke. “Back when the original owner would take anyone in here if someone could pay for it. I was placed in here by my parents' wishes in hopes they could cure me of it...and I ended up falling in love with my doctor. 

 

“I was placed on desk duty for my actions but I gotta keep my license,” Bobby explained rubbing his head. 

 

“I only got release when Mr. Novak reviewed my file when he took over the hospital. I was one of one hundred and fifty patients released for false mental illnesses.” Crowley took Bobby’s hand. “And that day I married him.” Castiel watched them as Crowley leaned into him. 

 

“I thought I had solved the mystery of Dean,” Castiel whispered upset. 

 

“I’m sorry, but I’m not the solution,” Bobby spoke as He moved to leave when Crowley paused for a moment before returning. 

 

“I was in the asylum for a long time, I’m not sure I can help-” Crowley spoke. 

 

“Do you know of the patient in three o' two?” Castiel asked as Crowley tilted his head thinking about it. 

 

“No, not really...but I was in Three ‘o one. I remember them building that room out of a former janitors office, watched them through a crack in the wall when I ran out of things to do. Shortly after it was built, I kept thinking I heard a baby crying...” Crowley spoke. 

 

“Thank you,” Castiel spoke as Crowley moved back to Bobby. “Wait, do you happen to know when you first heard the baby cry?”

 

“...Bobby, when did you give me this?” Crowley spoke playing with the ring on his finger. 

 

“It was January twenty-fourth,” Bobby spoke. “Can’t forget it, it was the day I asked you to be my husband.” Crowley nodded and looked at Castiel. 

 

“I hope that helped…” Crowley stated as they walked away, leaving him alone. 

  
  


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**Castiel’s POV:**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Castiel walked in looking defeated tears stung his eyes, it was odd. This whole thing to try to find out what happened to Dean, to solve the mystery of his past...he felt like today he really failed him. 

 

Dean stood when Castiel came in, Castiel was in tears moving to Dean as Dean stared at him concerned. 

 

“I’m sorry, Dean.” Castiel whimpered. “I thought I could do something...anything...to help you and I-” Castiel couldn’t continue as he felt Dean take him into a hard hug. Castiel held him back sobbing as Dean rocked him softly twisting his body. Castiel pulled back wiping his tears as he laughed at the mess he was now. He sniffed as he turned away, as Dean cupped his face. Castiel turned back to look up at him when Dean looked back in Castiel’s eyes as Dean slammed his lips hard into Castiel’s causing them both to groan at the clash of slamming of their faces together. 

 

“Ouch,” Castiel spoke his teeth ringing as he noticed Dean’s lip was bleeding. “Oh shoot, Dean.” Castiel placed a napkin on his lip trying to stop the bleeding. “What were you trying to do?” Castiel laughed as he noticed Dean’s finger point to the advertisement on his tablet. An Animated picture gif of a couple slamming their faces together with a heart emoji above them for a romantic phone app game.

 

“Oh, Dean. C-Couples only do that. And we don’t do it that way.” Castiel blushed.  

 

“Can you show me how?” Dean asked innocently as Castiel blinked at him nervously and shy as he laughed trying to stop his nervous fluttering heart at his innocent request. 

 

“Pft. S-Sure.” Castiel scoffed because it was no big deal grabbing his face softly moving the napkin away before place a quick peck on Dean’s lips. Dean winced and Castiel yanked back. “Shoot, your lip. I am so sorry-” 

 

Castiel paused noticing Dean’s...gaze as he reached a hand up touching his busted lip before he slid his fingertips on the other side of his lip as Castiel just stared back. Dean hesitantly leaned down pressing his lips against Castiel. Castiel let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding as he kissed back in easy slow kisses Dean getting used to how till they both pulled back in a slight pant. Castiel trying to process all that and Dean attempting to understand it. 

 

“Bedtime, Dean,” Castiel whispered looking away as Dean moved to listen. Castiel didn’t turn back until Dean’s bedroom door closed that Castiel even remembered he needed to breathe. 

 

His heart was pounding...but why? 

 

Castiel let that question linger in his head as he cleaned up before going to bed letting the question fade into sleep.


	5. Locked away

 

 

 

 

**Castiel’s POV:**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Castiel woke to a movement behind him he opened his eyes feeling Dean snuggling into his warmth. Castiel glanced tiredly at Dean as Dean held him from behind his face nuzzled into his back. Castiel...felt so small in Dean’s arms. It was odd. He never felt more vulnerable in there. 

 

He has never been the little spoon for anyone. This felt so different than with Anna, or any relationship Castiel had, not saying that what Dean’s relationship but their...friendship felt so much purer than anything he ever had. 

 

Castiel softly held Dean’s arms around him softly rubbing circles till Dean woke up on his own, sitting up slightly he rubbed his eyes and...Castiel instantly missed his embrace. He sat up himself watching Dean move as he yawned and stretched, Dean had an innocence about him in the body made for a man. Dean turned giving him a soft smile before Castiel smiled back sadly. 

 

Dean would have to go back soon to the asylum. 

 

It was any moment now, that Benny or Balthazar would call and let him know to return Dean because the room was done. He didn’t...know how he felt about it. About locking Dean away again...

 

“Ready to get dressed, Dean?” Castiel looked at Dean as Dean nodded. Castiel got off the bed, as Dean followed moving to change as well. Castiel’s eyes once again drifted watching Dean strip down into nothing. Castiel’s breath tightened as he took in the scarred up naked body of Dean. Each one had a story, a story Castiel felt like he would never unravel. Castiel didn’t realize he had touched one on Dean’s lower back so focused on his own thoughts. 

 

Dean tensed turning around as Castiel ripped his hand away as he realized Dean now knew he was staring at him changing. Castiel went deep red as Dean stared at him naked in front of him. 

 

“Sorry- I-I-” Castiel went deep red. 

 

“...” Dean stared at the little scars on his body, moving to rub his finger over his scars. “I did these…” Castiel watched him point to each scar on his body. “One for each escape...More for some…” Castiel watched him stop at a small triangle scar on his hand lingering on it. 

 

“...And that one?” Castiel whispered. 

 

“...This wasn’t me.” Dean spoke as tears filled his eyes, looking haunted.

 

“Who did this one Dean?” Castiel moved to touch his scar. 

 

“...” Dean looked away. 

 

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**Dean’s POV: Many years ago**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Little four-year-old Dean screamed as he was being pulled into the cell by a guard as his hand gripped a glass heart locket on a woman’s neck. The glass dug into his hand causing blood to pour from the wound as he cried screaming for her not to go. He watched her pull away watching as the metal necklace chain snapped. 

 

Dean continued to scream panic and fear in his eyes as he watched her disappear out the door as he was tossed into the bed so hard he whimpered hitting the ground as he watched the guard walk out slamming the metal door closed. Dean stared at the glass of the locket before he slowly slid under the bed whimpering as he sobbed curling into himself holding the locket close and cried alone.

 

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**Castiel’s POV:**

  
  


Dean was shaking and crying as he turned away wiping his tears, as Castiel turned him and held him close as Dean started to cry. 

 

“I’m sorry, I-I didn’t mean to make you cry.” Castiel cupped his face as Dean looked at him as Castiel shook. Holding him like he was fragile like he could break him. “I’m so...so...sorry.” Castiel felt tears in his eyes as well, looking at how broken Dean looked. How he felt like he broke him all over again… Castiel pulled him close, holding him as he let Dean cry it out. Castiel nuzzled him trying to calm him. 

 

Dean pulled back slightly as Castiel looked into his eyes upset too, Dean’s eyes looked back at his eyes. They couldn’t help their lips falling back onto each other, Castiel once again found himself so small in Dean’s arms. Castiel kissed back holding him as the rough messy kisses exchanged from the shy Castiel and the inexperienced Dean. Castiel was slammed back against the dresser causing Castiel to hiss. 

 

“Dean, easy-” Castiel panted as he tensed feeling...Dean’s cock press against his hip, hardening. Castiel went beet red as he looked at Dean’s face, Dean kissing his neck. “D-Dean I think it’s time for you to take a shower.”

 

Dean pulled back noticing Castiel’s blush, as Castiel tried to keep his eyes up away from the thing poking at his waist. Dean looked down as he blinked at his cock.

 

“It does that sometimes,” Dean commented innocently. Castiel looked at him shyly, how was he supposed to explain to an adult that his cock getting hard because of the natural idea of sex and not the natural reflex thing. 

 

“L-Let’s get you in the shower.” Castiel beamed innocently. “It will make it go away.”

 

“Okay. I normally just wait.” Dean commented as he looked at it, Castiel leading him to the shower. 

 

“You just got to take a cold shower and think-” Castiel paused as Dean looked at him. God, he just brought up a bad thought. He didn’t want that to happen again. “Just get in the shower.” 

 

Castiel watched Dean climb into the shower as Castiel closed it, he didn’t want to leave him to deal with this alone. Dean winced at the cold as the water splashed on him shivering and holding himself away from the cold. Castiel glanced down noticing Dean was still hard. 

 

“Do I have to do this?” Dean asked confused to why.

 

“Okay.” Castiel sighed rubbing his face turning the water to heat as he sighed trying to figure out how to explain to dean how...to handle it. “...Dean, you might need to rub it to go away.” 

 

“What?” Dean asked confused, Castiel went red. 

 

“Just...touch it,” Castiel spoke looking away as Dean hesitantly poked it. “Dean cup it-” Castiel sighed as Dean looked at him confused. 

 

“I’m sorry, I-I don’t-” Dean was confused. 

 

“...God, I’m going to hell.” Castiel whispered as he opened the glass door slightly he slid his hand in and cupped Dean’s cock. Dean was going to comment or ask what was he doing but the second Castiel started to stroke Dean moaned closing his eyes as Dean leaned his forehead against the shower wall. 

 

Castiel blushed realizing the pleasure he was giving Dean. Dean made some noises, some...very lustful noises, as Castiel tried to focus on anything but what he was doing. He only stopped when he felt warm cum spill onto his hand, Dean didn’t last long which made this bearable. Dean stared down at the cum that was spilled onto Castiel’s hand quickly washed away by water. 

 

“O-Okay, shower up.” Castiel pulled his hand away when Dean was soft, blushing he got up and left the bathroom leaving Dean confused to shower up.

 

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**Castiel’s POV:**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Castiel was cooking breakfast with clean hands trying to pretend that he didn’t jack off Dean. Dean came out wearing some clean clothes as Castiel went red by his presence. 

 

“Hey…” Dean spoke as Castiel smiled awkwardly then said nothing. “...Can we talk about the shower thing…What...was that?”

 

“It...it happens sometimes, your body needs to be released and it’s a very private thing...only someone you love or...you do it to yourself,” Castiel explained. “I didn’t know how to explain it so I showed you. Now you have to do it to yourself okay?” 

 

“Why?” Dean asked confused.

 

“Because...when you are at your age...people want something called sex. Couples do it. I-It’s natural and that’s why….it happens.” Castiel explained as Dean waiting for him to continue. Castiel went redder if that was even possible, as Castiel sighed. 

  
  


This was going to be...a long day.

 

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**Benny’s POV:**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Benny sat on Balthazar’s bed watching him pack his life into boxes as he sat on his bed, helping every so often despite Balthazar refusing to let him help. 

 

“Are you sure you’re okay with us moving in?” Balthazar asked folding clothes as Benny reached for him pulling him close by his hips. Balthazar let him hold him as Benny eyed him softly. 

 

“You mean am I okay with my boyfriend moving into my home with his son I adore?” Benny asked as Balthazar smiled with love. Benny pulled him even closer which almost knocked him into the bed, but Balthazar took the hint straddling as Benny held Balthazar’s waist. Balthazar eyed him softly wrapping his own arms around his shoulders. 

 

Balthazar eyed him before he softly leaned in pressing a kiss to Benny’s lips easy and soft as Benny smiled into the kiss. The kisses continued for a bit longer when Balthazar pulled back to the sound of noise from his son’s room. 

 

“Jack, Bed! I mean it! You have school!” Balthazar called the sounds of noise stopping, Balthazar sighed with care looking at Benny. “Sexy dating a dad.” He joked.

 

“Very sexy.” Benny hummed moving to kiss him. Balthazar was so shy with his kisses and his touches as though he was learning how to get back on a bike. He held onto Benny with a slight innocence as Benny softly and playfully twisted them till Balthazar was pinned under him. 

 

Balthazar laughed loudly as Benny pinned him by his hands above his head, as Benny eyed his face before his lustful look grew so much more innocent meeting balthazar’s own innocence. 

 

“Thank you for trying with me,” Benny whispered. “You could have rejected me...but even though this...is as new to you as to me...” Benny softly took Balthazar’s hands in his as Balthazar smiled up at him with care. “You didn’t, I appreciate it.”

 

“Why did you never tell me you were gay?” Balthazar asked. “We have been friends for years, and you never said.”

 

“I guess...I was worried how you’d react.” Benny whispered admittedly. 

 

“You know I’m an ally.” Balthazar laughed. “...Or I guess more than that now.” Benny laughed softly.

 

“I know, it’s just...hard to explain. When you love someone more than anything...telling them something like that...it’s the scariest thing in the world.” Benny breathed as Benny moved to lay next to him before Balthazar laid against his chest. 

 

“Spend the night?” Balthazar whispered. Benny blushed at the words. “N-Not sex, I-I mean-”

 

“I’d love to,” Benny whispered back, Balthazar smiled allowing himself to close his eyes to the warmth as Benny held him close allowing him to drift as well, not even bothering to turn off the lights.

 

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**Castiel’s POV:**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Castiel softly woke up to Dean again, Dean held him tightly that Castiel felt like he couldn’t breathe. However, it was comforting. Castiel turned to face Dean, he watched Dean’s face movements how he twitched in his sleep in his nightmares. Castiel softly touched his cheek as Dean whimpered. 

 

“Dean. You’re dreaming again.” Castiel whispered softly till Dean softly stirred awake, looking at Castiel who blinked tiredly at Castiel. “What were you dreaming about?” Dean blinked at him tiredly before nuzzling into him castiel held him back with care.

 

“The bad man,” Dean whispered holding him.

 

“What was the bad man doing?” Castiel asked as Dean looked up scared.

 

“He took you away and....” Dean whispered. “....he locked me away all alone again…” Castiel looked at him softly taking in his words. 

 

“The bad man doesn’t know me,” Castiel spoke cupping his face. “He can’t hurt me, Dean...He can’t hurt you either. Not anymore.” Castiel whispered as he looked at his phone receiving a text from Benny that Dean’s room was done, Castiel’s face faded to sadness. Dean looked at the phone coldly knowing what it said by the look on his face as he softly turned away. 

 

“He never had to touch me to hurt me...that room is enough,” Dean whispered turning away as Castiel looked at him upset those words shook him as Castiel tried to say something but came up with nothing. Castiel looked down at the text before he held the phone to his chest, thinking long and hard about what he was going to say.

 

“...I’m going to find a way to help you, Dean,” Castiel spoke as Dean didn’t move or look at him. “Somehow, I’m going to get you out of that room...forever.” Dean softly turned that looking Castiel in the face before sadly smiling at Castiel.

 

“It’s okay if you don’t...you got me out of that room for a little while,” Dean spoke softly reaching up and touching Castiel’s lips with his fingertips. “I’m happy I got a life with you, like this,” Dean whispered. “Even if it was a couple of days…” 

 

Castiel swallowed at his words, as Dean softly pulled his fingers away before he got up on the other side of the bed. He watched Dean get up as Dean cleared his throat taking in the room like it was the last time he would ever see anything so beautiful again.

 

“One last breakfast?” Dean spoke with a sad smile, Castiel looked at him with tears burning his eyes threatening to fall. It wasn’t fair. Dean deserved the sunlight. Dean deserved to be human too, not live his life in a cell!

 

Castiel got up moving to him, softly not sure what his body was doing, as he stood before Dean. Castiel took his hands holding them in his. Castiel looked up at him trying to hold back the tears, as Castiel felt Dean cup his face. 

 

“It’s okay.” Dean pressed his forehead affectionately onto Castiel’s which caused his eyes to gush tears at the loving touch. “It’s not your fault. Shhh, it’s ok-” Castiel pushed up on his toes, his lips capturing his. Dean was taken back before he softly kissed back holding him back. 

 

Castiel was kissing him again…

 

Castiel held him back allowing the kiss to continue, growing from hard and innocent to rough. Castiel had to admit he was the first to introduce tongue, causing a little moan from himself as their tongues slid against each other. 

 

Castiel had never been intimate with someone like this. Sure, he had relationships, and sure he had sex. However, this was something so much more… Touching Dean sent shocks through his body, his body seemed to go through the wave of Dean and all he wanted to do was grab onto it. 

 

Castiel felt Dean press him back against the wall, their lips moving with need against his. Castiel moaned into the kiss, feeling Dean move to pick him up and hold him. Castiel moaned at the innocent grip on his ass holding him up. Castiel shivered to kiss him with lust and need as his legs wrapped around his waist. 

 

How was Castiel always so small in his arms?

 

Castiel pushed off the wall kissing him with care as Dean was wobbled around till Castiel put weight on him to make him fall back onto the bed. Dean accidentally knocked over the lamp in the process as Castiel pulled back laughing as he noticed they both broke the lamp. Castiel happily straddling Dean as he looked over his shoulder. 

 

“Oops.” Castiel laughed as Dean laughed with him before he looked down at him with love and care. Castiel looked down at Dean with affection as Dean’s hands returned to his waist just holding him. Castiel eyed his face before he brushed some hair out of Dean’s face.

 

“Can I ask you something?” Dean whispered as Castiel paused his movements softly. “You said couples kiss.”

 

“Yes…” Castiel blushed.

 

“You said couples touch each other,” Dean repeated.

 

“Yes…” Castiel stated. 

 

“...You said couples want to have sex with each other.” Dean whispered as Castiel hesitantly nodded. “...Are we a couple if I want to have sex with you?” Castiel went redder by the comment as he stared at Dean. 

 

Was it right to admit that Castiel felt the pull Dean felt for him? That even he as a person who never had an idea of a man before in this way knew this was more than a friendship. More than a relationship. This was more than anything Castiel could describe...and he knew Dean felt that too.

 

Was it alright to put a label on Dean’s feelings when Dean was new to them? Maybe it was wrong of him to assume Dean could even understand feelings like these...Or maybe it was wrong of him to assume Dean couldn’t comprehend them…

 

Castiel leaned in kissing him again softly it was more innocent than it was before as he pulled back. 

 

“I think, it’s a bit too soon for sex...but…” Castiel spoke touching his chest. “...Yeah. What we do...that’s...that’s what couples do.” Dean beamed at that as Castiel blushed harder at his happiness. Dean pulled him into a tight hug rocking him back and forth. 

 

“You’re my favorite couple,” Dean spoke as Castiel laughed at his words. 

 

“I wouldn’t be your couple Dean, I would...I guess I would be your boyfriend... if anything.” Castiel confessed brushing some hair out of his face unable to look at him in the eye.

 

“I’m glad you’re my boyfriend…” Dean whispered so innocently and pure that Castiel went redder if that was even possible. Could he really send Dean back to that place?

 

“...Come on, Dean.” Castiel hummed. “I’ll take you out somewhere nice.”

 

“Where? You mean...Outside?” Dean beamed happily, Castiel nodded as Castiel was yanked into a hug holding him tightly. 

 

“Come on, you need to get dressed.” Castiel laughed climbing off of him, Castiel moved to see if he had any shoes that fit dean. “...and while we are out I’m going to get you some clothes.”

 

“Why? I’ll be going back to the asylum...I won’t be able to ever wear it…” Dean asked confused.

 

“That’s because I’m not letting you go back,” Castiel spoke not looking at him as he went through his clothes. “I decided you are just going to stay here with me.”

 

“...Cas.” Dean whispered. “You know I can’t. I have to go back.”

 

“No, you don’t. I’ll just figure it out.” Castiel stated when a hand covered his.

 

“If they found out I’m gone...It won’t end well.” Dean spoke. “If this continues, they will find out I’ve been here instead of in my cell-”

 

“I don’t want you to go back.” Castiel choked out tears filling his eyes.

 

“I know...Shhh.” Dean whispered moving to hold him as Castiel curled into him. “I know…” Castiel held him tightly crying as Dean held him closer just letting Castiel cry it out holding him tightly. 

 

Castiel knew at that moment...letting Dean go was going to be harder than anything he ever had to do…

  
  
  



	6. The paintings

 

 

 

 

**Castiel’s POV:**

  
  
  
  
  
  


Castiel sat in the car not wanting to go back inside the asylum, Dean was finishing his meal of Mcdonalds. Dean seemed to be enjoying his last meal before going back into the room. Castiel felt sick, he didn’t want him to go back in there. 

 

“I will tell Balthazar not to give you any medication,” Castiel spoke trying not to cry. “You’re doing so much better without it. A-And I’ll try to sneak you food-” Dean softly took Castiel’s hands in his holding them with care and affection. Castiel couldn’t help the tears sliding down his face as Dean looked at him with such care, with such...understanding.

 

“It’s okay, Castiel,” Dean spoke petting his hands with care. “Don’t cry for me. It’s okay. I’m not sad.” Castiel nodded in tears trying to be strong for Dean but obviously failed, god, Dean was the one going back into the cell, not him. Yet, Dean was comforting him?

 

Dean wiped his tears softly, as a knock on the window made the two turn, Castiel’s eyes slid over Benny as he quickly wiped up the remaining tears as Dean slid his hands away from Castiel’s face. 

 

“It’s time,” Benny spoke as Dean took a breathtaking a moment to compose himself, Castiel watched him. The only time Castiel saw a sliver of discomposure from Dean before Dean got out of the car with a breath he was holding.

 

Castiel scrambled to get out of the car, meeting Dean who now stood in front of benny. Benny eyed Dean before looking at the mess Castiel was. Unable to stop the look of pain on his face knowing Dean would have to go back. 

 

Benny lowered his gaze before offering Dean his hospital clothes, Dean took them without argument softly stripping in the empty parking lot. When Dean was done he hesitantly handed Castiel his old clothes which Castiel held with care. 

 

“I’ll take him in,” Benny spoke as Castiel glanced up at that. “You called out sick to spend the day with him, if you suddenly show up it will draw suspicion. Go home.” 

 

“N-No, I-I want to go,” Castiel spoke panicked he felt a tightness in his chest like he himself was the one who betrayed Dean and locked him in the room. Dean took his hand again with care, holding it with delicacy.

 

“It’s going to be okay. Just see me tomorrow.” Dean breathed as Benny and him started to walk away.

 

“D-Dean, please-” Castiel whimpered but Dean kept repeating his kind words like a mantra. 

 

“It’s going to be okay.” Dean smiled with care till their hands slid out of each other’s grip. 

 

Castiel watched as Benny took Dean in the side door, Dean giving him one-half smile before going in. Castiel felt his legs shaking and he felt the need to vomit as he turned and hurled near his car. Losing what remained in his stomach from Dean’s McDonald's trip, when he finally composed himself he sat up seeing a cup of water being offered to him.

 

“At least no one can accuse you of lying.” Benny’s voice made Castiel give a sad face before drinking the water. 

 

“Thank you,” Castiel whispered as he moved to sit in the car. 

 

“You okay?” Benny spoke as Castiel wiped his tears. 

 

“I feel like a monster,” Castiel stated. “I just locked him up again, I did exactly what they did to him.”

 

“No no.” Benny sighed leaning against the car. “You didn’t lock him up...you gave him hope he could get out.” Castiel stared at him feeling better by the words. “Now, Mr. detective, I think you have a case to solve.” 

 

Castiel watched Benny place something into his hand, as he glanced down looking at a medium size diamond heart, blood dried onto the grooves of the point. On the heart was an engraving. 

 

_ Forever My Girl _

 

Castiel took in the diamond sliding his fingers over it before glancing up. 

 

“Dean said this might help,” Benny spoke as Castiel held the diamond close, holding it so close he could feel the diamond threatening to pierce his skin.

 

“Thank you, Benny,” Castiel spoke holding it to his chest before he placed a kiss on benny’s cheek before getting in the car with a new found purpose. Castiel drove off as Benny sighed shaking his head before heading back inside. 

 

____________________________________________________________________

  
  


**Benny’s POV:**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Benny came home late for helping Castiel and Dean, Benny paused seeing Balthazar raising his head from scrubbing the kitchen floor. 

 

“Welcome home,” Balthazar called going back to scrubbing as Benny walked over kneeling next to him.

 

“I didn’t ask you to move in to scrub my floors, Cinderella.” Benny chuckled as Balthazar beamed softly at him.

 

“I got most of our stuff unpacked.” Balthazar sighed. “but I wanted to help out since you let me take some time off to move on your dime.” Balthazar got up and cleaned his hands before wrapping his arms around Benny kissing him. “Welcome home.” 

 

“T...Thanks.” Benny blushed holding him back kissing him with care. 

 

“I have dinner in the microwave for you.” Balthazar hummed.

 

“How did I get you?” Benny whispered.

 

“You asked.” Balthazar laughed as Benny kissed him again, letting each kiss linger longer and longer when Balthazar was pressed up against the table. Their tongues moving against each other happily before benny’s spare room door opened and the two adults casually pulled away. Taking a step away from each other before the half asleep kid came out rubbing his eyes. 

 

“What’s wrong my love?” Balthazar spoke as Jack moved to hold his dad. Jack was picked up by Balthazar who lovingly sat him on the kitchen island. Jack laid his head on his shoulder holding him. “Did you have a bad dream?” Jack nodded softly as Balthazar shushed him with care, as Benny took a seat on the counter.

 

“You had a bad dream, buddy?” Benny gasped. “What could scare you?” Jack shook not wanting to talk to him about it. “...Hey, whatever it was your daddy and I won’t let anything to happen you.”

 

“...you promise?” Jack asked as Benny nodded. “Can I sleep with you guys tonight?” 

 

“W-With us?” Balthazar blushed looking at Benny, they hadn’t been too secretive about the fact they had been sleeping in the same bed since moving in but they thought they had gotten away with it. 

 

“...Sure, buddy.” Benny ruffled his hair before Balthazar carried him to the back towards the room. 

 

_______________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Castiel’s POV:**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


He eyed the diamond heart looking at the etching,  _ Forever, my girl _ in white lettering. It was a unique diamond and the whole thing wasn’t found during a search. It must have been custom made, which meant finding it was going to be a bit more difficult.

 

However, if he was able to track down the jewelry maker, he would be able to solve another piece of the puzzle. 

 

This was going to be a lot of legwork though, he was going to have to walk to every jewelry store in town and email some bigger companies about the diamond. 

 

Castiel heard a noise in his apartment causing him to turn, he expected it to be Dean however it seemed to just be the neighbors walking around. Castiel took off his reading glasses sighing as he rubbed his eyes.

 

He missed Dean a lot.

 

It was obvious how he lingered on the couch where Dean used to sit and watch him work or play the tablet. 

  
Castiel sighed sadly before his eyes fell on his car keys a bit away, he scooped them up in a hurry before he bolted out the door.

 

__________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Dean’s POV:**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Dean sat in his room, looking up at the more secured window. The glass now covered in thicker bars which made the moon no longer visible. Dean looked at what he could see, just taking in the moonlight that seemed to be able to shine through it even with all the obstacles in the way. Dean heard his cell open, which caused his head to turn. Dean’s eyes fell on Castiel as he stood in surprise. 

 

“Castiel, you shouldn’t be here-” Dean spoke as Castiel bolted over slamming Dean into a kiss.

 

It was hard and Dean couldn’t help pick him up holding him to kiss him harder against the room wall. Castiel moaned as he kissed him so desperately, his nails digging into his back as Dean broke the kiss to press kisses to his neck.

 

“Cas, you can’t be here, you got to go.” Dean panted once again.

 

“I didn’t want you to go to bed without a kiss good night.” Castiel panted being set down he pulled back eyeing Dean’s face with care. Dean eyed his face back before they returned to a soft kiss. It was easy and slow before Dean forced Castiel to pull away with care and love.

 

“Good night…” Dean held his hand till their fingers slid out of each other’s grasp once again.

 

“Good night.” Castiel spoke leaving Dean’s cell as Dean touched his own lips with love and affection blushing from ear to ear. Castiel got into his car, sitting in the driver's seat before touching his own lips a small smile forming on his lips before he drove back home.

__________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Castiel’s POV:**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Castiel sat in the nurse's station half asleep as Benny opened the door with a sigh before coming inside. The noise of entering woke Castiel up who tiredly rubbed his face and mumbled curses to himself. Benny handed him a coffee which Castiel took happily downed the delicious brew.

 

“Up all night?” Benny asked as Castiel nodded tiredly.

 

“I still haven’t had any luck finding the jeweler.” Castiel spoke. “I’m worried it was out of state made.”

 

“You’ll be looking forever,” Benny stated.

 

“I need answers now,” Castiel whined into his coffee.

 

“Oh, hey guys,” Balthazar spoke entering the room. “Oh, that’s pretty,” Balthazar spoke taking the diamond necklace. “Who is the lucky lady?”

 

“Dean’s mother, I’m hoping.” Castiel sighed leaning back. “But I have nowhere to start to find her.”   
  


“I swear I have seen this before but I don’t know how I could of,” Balthazar mumbled as he handed it back. “It’s pretty nonetheless.”

 

“What about Bobby?” Benny questioned. “Is it possible he would recognize someone wearing it?”

 

“Y-You’re right!” Castiel beamed. “Maybe he had seen who wore this?!” Castiel moved past them in a hurry as Balthazar and Benny chuckled at their innocent friend.

 

________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Castiel’s POV:**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Castiel rushed downstairs to see his father standing there, Castiel instantly froze placing the necklace into his white coat pocket as he moved to hide in the doorway. 

 

“I heard you were talking to my son quite frequently,” Jimmy spoke holding his cane in his hand tightly. “What could my son  _ possibly _ want to do with you?”

 

“Just met during lunch, talking about the weather and such.” Bobby lied as Jimmy tilted his head not buying it as much as Bobby hoped. 

 

“It wouldn’t have been about that rape of a patient you did?” Jimmy stated.

 

“I didn’t RAPE him.” Bobby snapped upset. “He consented! We were engaged and in love!-”

 

“Patients can’t consent by law and you know that.” Jimmy tilted his head. “But...I gave you the benefit of the doubt like your previous employer and let you keep your job since you did make him an honest man out of him. Besides the gay mental illness trope is very overrated.” Jimmy sighed looking down. 

 

“Not that I don’t appreciate your gay is okay speech.” Bobby scoffed. “But why the visit.”

 

“Because I know my son is fishing about for information on the boy,” Jimmy spoke. “...and I know you’ve been helping him...Don’t insult my intelligence by lying now.”

 

“...” Bobby said nothing as Jimmy eyed him.

 

“Do you...like your job, Bobby?” Jimmy asked as he used his cane to push on an old bookshelf that whined. 

 

“Why do you ask?” Bobby gruffed. 

 

“Because you don’t seem to show it,” Jimmy stated pushing on it a bit more watching the large bookshelf fall backward into another one like a domino till one smashed into the wall. “...If I haven’t made my point clear….drop it.” Jimmy turned walking towards the door passing Castiel who hid behind the door. “...Clean this place up...and if I catch you near my son again...you’re fired.”

 

Castiel watched him walk up the stairs, not moving till he was sure it was safe to come out. Castiel stood in Bobby’s doorway as he hesitantly moved towards him helping him pick up.

 

“Kid, you can’t be here. I need this job.” Bobby sighed upset.

 

“I-I just feel so terrible.” Castiel breathed. “This is all my fault.”

 

“You want to make it up to me?” Bobby spoke. “Get that bloody kid out of here and get him a real life.” Castiel hesitantly nodded as he pulled out the necklace. 

 

“Bobby do you recognize this?” Castiel asked as Bobby glanced up.

 

“Sorry, kid,” Bobby spoke. “Never one to notice jewelry.” Castiel looked down disappointed when Balthazar came running downstairs.

 

“CAS! CAS-Whoa. What happened here?” Balthazar glanced around at the disheveled room. 

 

“What is it, Balthazar?” Castiel asked moving to him. 

 

“I came here because I remember where I have seen that necklace before!” Balthazar spoke as he took Castiel’s hand and led him up the stairs towards the old storage. 

 

“Why are we over here?” Castiel asked coughing at the dust that was covered in the room.

 

“I discovered this place months ago to sleep on shift and disappear for a while. It’s filled with the old owner's stuff.” Balthazar stated. “I recently come in here to make out a bit.”

 

“With who?” Castiel asked. 

 

“It’s a need to know.” Balthazar hummed as Castiel rolled his eyes. Balthazar moved some of the paintings he had organized into the back. He moved a couple and after a couple minutes of searching he beamed yanking out an old painting of a young woman. “See I told you I have seen this before.” 

 

Castiel moved to look at the other side of the painting, seeing a brown hair woman coldly looking at them in the painting. On her neck was the diamond necklace in his pocket. Castiel pulled out the necklace and compared them.

 

“This is the same one.” Castiel spoke. “Who is this?”

 

“Um, look, right here.” Balthazar pointed to the plaque. Castiel kneeled down wiping the silver plaque reading the inscription for a Ruby Stiller, Castiel eyed the plaque with care reading the inscription.

 

_ Forever my girl. _

 

“Who is she?” Castiel asked 

 

“Isn’t it obvious?” Balthazar stated taking a seat on his makeshift bed, Castiel turned to him not understanding as Balthazar sighed explained. “Look at her. She’s a rich bitch. She’s obviously is the wife of the old rich asylum owner. Why else would she have an expensive painting here and  _ leave _ it?”

 

“The owner of the asylum?” Castiel spoke as he looked over Ruby. “Is it possible Dean’s parents are the old asylum owners? I mean why else would he have this?”

 

“I don’t know,” Balthazar spoke as Castiel turned to look at him. “I just hope it helps you.”

 

“Thank you,” Castiel whispered as he pulled out his phone taking a picture of her and her name. “I think you just helped solve the Mystery of ‘Dean Winchester’.” 

 

Castiel rushed out leaving Balthazar alone to snuggle up and sleep his day out for a couple hours.


	7. The sinking feeling

 

 

 

 

**Castiel’s POV:**

  
  
  
  
  
  


Castiel sat in his father’s office uncomfortable as his father stared at him annoyed. The silence in the room was apparent by the sound of the clock clicking with each minute passed. His father took off his reading glasses to look at Castiel with a sigh of disappointment.

 

“You need….a week off from work?” Jimmy asked before he crossed his fingers. “Right after being sick for a couple days.”

 

“Um...yes,” Castiel stated. “I-I’m...trying to work things out with Anna and I want to take her out of state for a bit.” 

 

“...” Jimmy tilted his head not buying his lie as Castiel pulled out his plane ticket. 

 

“See? This is for late tonight.” Castiel spoke looking through the paperwork on his lap. “I can even show you the honeymoon suite I booked for us-” 

 

“...I will give you the week off.” Jimmy eyed him. “Anna seems like a reasonable girl to be with. I approve of you working things out but I recommend you wrap this up in your week. I will not approve your vacation time next time.” Castiel nodded as Jimmy signed the paperwork. Castiel shot up and took the paperwork moving to leave as Jimmy called going back to work. “Don’t slam the-” 

 

**SLAM**

 

“...Door.” Jimmy sighed as Castiel left quickly.   
  


______________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Castiel’s POV:**

  
  
  
  
  
  


He kissed Dean with love, knowing he wouldn’t be able to say goodnight till he came back. 

 

“So you are close figuring me out huh?” Dean spoke holding them as they laid in bed, Castiel had a few minutes before he had to leave to the airport. 

 

“I think so,” Castiel spoke petting his hair. “Maybe I can finally get all the answers you deserve and get you out of here.”

 

“...Where will I go if I ever get out?” Dean whispered. “My family abandoned me-” 

 

“I’m your family,” Castiel whispered. “I will take care of you the second you walk out that door a free man.”

 

“You shouldn’t have to,” Dean whispered back.

 

“I want to.” Castiel hummed. “After all...I have so much to teach you about the outside world...” Dean blushed at that as Castiel kissed him repeatedly. “I love you and there, five kisses for the five nights I will be gone.” 

 

Castiel cupped his face before he pulled himself to get out of the bed, Dean said nothing as he watched Castiel walk to the door. 

 

“I’ll be back before you know it.” Castiel blew him a kiss before he turned and walked out the door as Dean reached up catching the kiss before holding it to his chest and snuggling into it to sleep.

 

_____________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Benny’s POV:**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Castiel stood at the airport wishing benny and Balthazar a goodbye, Benny watched Balthazar and Castiel hug.

 

“Are you sure you want to go?” Benny asked.

 

“I hoping she can give me all the answers I need,” Castiel spoke. “Maybe she is the answer.”

 

“I just...I have been thinking a lot about Dean…” Benny sighed. 

 

“What about him?” Castiel asked.

 

“It’s really fucked up if it was true he lived in the asylum his whole life, but it takes a monster to abandon your kid like that,” Benny spoke. “I just, don’t think there is a good enough answer, you know? I feel as though whatever answer she might have it might never be enough.”

 

“...” Castiel said nothing before he nodded and sighed. “Whatever the answer, Dean deserves to know. He deserves one….till then...please watch over Dean for me.” Benny nodded before Castiel hugged him again before he turned to walk deeper to the airport. Benny waved goodbye as Balthazar watched him go with a sigh.

 

“I don’t see this ending very well for either of them,” Balthazar spoke protectively. “People can be cruel or selfish.”

 

“We can only hope they have a good reason.” Benny took his hand as he walked him back towards the car. Balthazar eyed him with care before pressing a kiss to his lips. 

 

“If only the rest of the world was amazing like you,” Balthazar spoke. “I mean I don’t know any man dating a single parent who would sleep between them and a kid.”   
  


“I love you both,” Benny spoke cupping his face. “I know what I signed up for the second I first fell for you. I agreed to all the terms and conditions the second I first saw you smile at me. Therefore, I don’t care if he has a nightmare and needs to sleep with us, I don’t care. I love you and I love jack. I’m the luckiest man alive to have just met you but...to be dating you AND having jack as a stepson. Wow. I am blessed.” 

 

“...” Balthazar stared at him before he pulling him towards the car opening the back door. 

 

“Um...why are you holding the backseat open?” Benny spoke. 

 

“Because you are going to get into your car and I’m going to make love to you,” Balthazar stated with affection and love as Benny got into the car without complaint before Balthazar straddled him closing the back door behind them connecting their lips in a steamy kiss. 

 

_________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Castiel’s POV:**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Castiel glanced up at a beautiful loft in the center of town that seemed right up his father’s idea of luxury. Castiel on the hand hated the loud city life and like the small town, they moved to. Castiel rang the buzzer, listening to the sound before a voice entered the intercom. 

 

“Who is it?” A female voice spoke. 

 

“U-Um I’m here to see Ruby Stiller,” Castiel stated as the woman sighed.

 

“Unless you are her masseuse, I’m not letting you in.” The female spoke. 

 

“T-That’s me! Just started today!” Castiel lied as the buzzer sounded and the gate opened. Castiel fixed his shoulder bag before heading up the steps and walking into the house. 

 

He glanced around the luxury house, as the maid brought him towards Ruby who sat with her dog letting her toes dry after getting her toes done. Castiel’s eyes fell on the hazelnut eyes and the chocolate brown hair trying to see Dean in her but even when she smiled he seemed to see a bit of Dean in everyone these days.  

 

“...Who is this?” Ruby asked as the maid spoke up. 

 

“Castiel, he is your masseuse today.” The maid spoke as Ruby eyed him confused but her face still polite and respectful.

 

“You aren’t my boy,” Ruby stated. 

 

“He called out sick.” Castiel lied as Ruby seemed to accept this answer and moved to relax again. 

 

“You may go enjoy the rest of the day,” Ruby spoke to her maid as the maid bowed and left. Castiel hesitantly put his bag down as Ruby glanced at her feet. “Ballet Slippers from Essie. The same color the royal family is only allowed to wear.” Ruby hummed. “I’m related to them you know, the fourth cousin; twice removed.” 

 

“Cool,” Castiel stated not sure how to approach the conversation he needed. 

 

“So, start at my feet careful of the toes and-” Ruby spoke. 

 

“Actually…” Castiel hesitated. “...I-I’m not your masseuse.” She eyed him.

 

“Look, if you are thinking of raping and murdering me-” Ruby scoffed like he was pathetic. “-Did my ex-husband sent you? A little late for this don’t you think, we have been divorced for months.”   
  


“God, no!” Castiel yelped waving his hands. “Look, I came to ask you about Dean Winchester. If that is his real name.” Castiel pulled out Dean’s picture. “He was and still is a patient of the Asylum your husband used to run.” She eyed it without care.

 

“I never saw him,” Ruby commented looking at her nails before Castiel held it out to her again. 

 

“Try again.” Castiel pleaded as she sighed taking the photo of Dean, the current one. 

 

“...No. I don’t remember him.” Ruby spoke handing it back.

 

“He would have been a bit younger then,” Castiel spoke. “When you were last there he might have been five.” Ruby sighed eyeing Castiel taking the photo back as she eyed his face running her fingers over it. 

 

“Actually...I might remember him.” Ruby spoke.

 

___________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Ruby’s POV: Many years ago**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


She climbed out of her fancy car, her eyes falling on the asylum. She hated this place, but the money's good. Whatever scam her husband ran kept up with her rich lifestyle and that was okay with her. Her heels sunk into the dirt floor that no one cemented. She cursed at her expensive red heels getting caked with clay. She moved towards the grass noticing a sprinkler head was on and started to clean her heels. When a child’s laughter caught her attention.

 

A small child bolted through the grass, wearing an asylum uniform shirt like a dress. A couple of nurses watched him play affectionately as he ran through the sprinklers. He was soaked to the bone as Ruby frowned confused why to see a child in the asylum at all. 

 

“Hey, this is not bring your kid to work day,” Ruby called annoyed as the two nurses turned their heads. “This is unacceptable, this is no place for a child-!” One nurse took the small boy roughly by the arm leading him back into the side door of the asylum. Ruby watched the boy crying at her roughness literally dragging him inside before the older nurse slammed the door behind them. Ruby eyed the weird encounter before another sprinkler went off wetting her from behind. She cursed getting off the grass wet and annoyed she went to see her husband.

 

_________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Castiel’s POV: Now**

  
  
  
  
  
  


“Never saw the boy again. I assumed whoever’s child he was, took him home. Never thought he was a patient there.” Ruby commented. “A little young to be crazy at what like two?”

 

“That’s the thing, I don’t think he is crazy,” Castiel explained. “I think he was someone’s dirty little secret they hoped to keep locked away.” Ruby scoffed at that, pulling a cigarette carefully from her bag. 

 

“Mind?” Ruby spoke as Castiel shook his head, she lit her cigarette blowing smoke. “So I feel bad for the kid, but what does that have to do with me?”

 

“I...I was wondering...if you would know...who Dean’s parents were...or if-” Castiel hesitated.

 

“...or if it was me and my ex-husband who abandoned that kid there to rot.” She blew in smoke eyeing him. “I can only speak for myself.” She placed Dean’s photo on the counter before sliding it over. “But I was never fond of kids. I hated their poop, their crying, the need for constant care…” 

 

Castiel watched the smoke escape her lips as she breathed out ashing it in a large lip ashtray before eyeing Castiel again.

 

“That’s why my ex-husband lasted so long. We never wanted kids.” Ruby explained. “I got my tubes tied and everything, just to keep that from ever being a concern.” Ruby slid her clothes out of the way showing the scar. “I can only speak for myself but whoever that kid belongs to. It ain’t me, kid. Sorry, you came for nothing.”

 

“...” Castiel took the photo back sadly before he looked at the photo of Dean. Coming here was for nothing then…Castiel pulled out the necklace which it caught Ruby’s attention. “...Then this isn’t yours?” 

 

Ruby snatched the necklace eyeing the piece her face filling with annoyed disbelief as she blew in smoke.

 

“That bastard. I knew it.” Ruby blew out. “One of a kind my ass.”

 

“What?” Castiel got excited. Ruby blew out smoke getting up getting another necklace from her jewelry box handing it to Castiel. They were identical.

 

“My ex. He had a nasty habit of sleeping around, wouldn’t be surprised if he knocked up a few nurses. However, he normally paid for the abortions.” Ruby snorted. “Which is why I don’t think it was him..but you’re welcome to look into that hint. He only gave that to his ‘special girl’.” She scoffed blowing out smoke. “I knew he wasn’t loyal but to play me a fool.”

 

“D-Do you know how I can get in contact with him?” Castiel spoke as She shrugged sitting before taking Dean’s photo and writing on the back an address. 

 

“You can find him here.” Ruby blew out smoke tapping the address as Castiel tried to hand back her necklace. “Keep it. Take that necklace back to him and shove it up his ass for me. Hell, use it buy strippers. I don’t care. It disgusts me.”

 

“T-...Thanks, but...um...I-I have a couple of pictures of the nurses working there, would you happen to know which he might have been friendlier with.” Castiel asked as Ruby shrugged, Castiel pulled out the picture as Ruby eyed it. 

 

“Any of the young ones to be honest. I liked them in those candy skirts...but these two were the ones with the kid that day.” Ruby eyed them pointing out Nurse Ellen and Nurse Joanna and pulled out a smoke. “Surprised he didn’t turn to see them bending for the photo.” Castiel paused she pointed to the man in the background. The one who...took Dean’s sunshine away. Castiel pulled back the photo as he slid it into the backpack on his shoulder. 

 

“Thank you for your time.” Castiel spoke as Ruby nodded watching him go.

 

“Good luck, kid.” Ruby called as Castiel walked out the door heading to the new address on the photo.

 

__________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Castiel’s POV:**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Castiel glanced up at the giant skyscraper of apartments he walked up to the mailboxes, seeing which one was for which apartment and name. Finding the name he needed he went to catch the elevator. Going to the top level, he got off the elevator to find a single door standing in front of him. Castiel hesitated as he rang the doorbell. Waiting as a man loosening his tie came over, he eyed Castiel confused before glancing around.

 

“You the pizza boy?” The man asked glancing in hope to see a pizza. Castiel took in the tall male who definitely slouched to be shorter on purpose. His hair a chocolate brown matched his dark brown eyes. Looking tall and built in a suit, Castiel could understand why he was so sought after. 

 

“N-No,” Castiel spoke. 

 

“...Then fuck off.” The man scoffed moving to slam the door but Castiel put his foot in the door.

 

“Wait, are you Samuel Campbell?” Castiel asked hopeful as the man eyed him. 

 

“I go by Sam.” The man frowned eyeing him before he opened the door wider. “What do you want, Kid?” 

 

“I-I just want a couple minutes of your time,” Castiel begged. 

 

“You and everyone else.” Sam scoffed as Castiel shoved more of himself into the door.

 

“It’s about your ex-wife!” Castiel lied as Sam paused looking at him suspiciously. “...She...says you still owe her money in the divorce.” Sam sighed and groaned as he pulled the door open allowing the door open for him. 

 

_______________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Sam’s POV:**

  
  
  
  
  
  


Sam eyed the kid as he poured himself some vodka, Castiel glancing at the model home overlooking the city. 

 

“So what does that bitch want now?” Sam asked with a scoff. “The bitch took everything from me, I don’t see what else she could want. You know she wanted everything when we were married and I gave her everything but the bitch wouldn’t take my last name? Should have known she was no good.” Sam took the shot before pouring himself some more. 

 

“Sorry, would you like some?”  Castiel attempted to deny the drink but Sam poured him one and wouldn’t continue until Castiel at least took the shot, Castiel grimace at the bitter drink. “Never got your name.” 

 

“Castiel. Castiel Novak.” Castiel spoke holding out his hand as Sam shook it eyeing him. 

 

“Small world. I knew a Novak before...Johnny, I think.” Sam took a sip before lounging on the couch in front of Castiel. “Bought an old asylum I used to run, Oh all the good money. But I was going to be investigated by the FBI and trust me, not a good mix.” Sam laughed drinking as he talked. 

 

“I-I think you are referring to Jimmy Novak...Which is what I wanted to talk to you about...” Castiel swallowed taking the papers out of his bag. “Does...he look familiar to you?” Sam eyed him before he scooped up the picture of Dean, eyeing him then eyeing Castiel before tossing it lazily back. 

 

“I never handled the patients personally.” Sam scoffed.

 

“I think you knew this one personally,” Castiel spoke picking up the picture and placing the two diamond necklaces onto Dean’s picture. Sam seemed to tense with a light breath. 

 

“What is this? Trying to extort me for some kind of money?” Sam scoffed annoyed. “Keep the necklace and sell off those. Fifty thousand each. That’s your money.” 

 

“No. Just listen! I just want to know who he is. Who his family is. I think I learned enough to know who his father was.” Castiel panted. “...and I believe it was you.” Sam took the photo again. “You might not recognize him now...but he was about four the last time you saw him.” 

 

“...” Sam eyed it for a long time before he downed his drink before pouring more from the bottle it was a long time before he spoke. “Look, I’m not a saint. I cheated a lot on my wife.  _ A lot _ . You could not imagine how those nurses flocked to me. I was getting some morning, day, and night-”

 

“But why. Why did you lock him away.” Castiel spoke as Sam lit himself a Cuban cigar. 

 

“Kid, if I had a choice, he’d be aborted like the rest.” Sam scoffed as Castiel looked at him upset. “Look, a nurse came to me after a couple times and said she was pregnant. I offered to pay for the abortion. She said she’d figure it out so I thought it was over. She may have gotten it in her head that I loved her and wanted to leave my wife for her.” 

 

“...Because of that, she decided to keep the baby hoping you would.” Castiel stated as Sam shrugged.

 

“She was young and in love. Came from a real Christian background like the rest of the town. She thought we’d get married and junk after my divorce that I never planned to happen. Anyways. She almost ready to pop still skinny as a rail but comes to me for help. She can’t bring the kid home till we are married but she obviously wants to keep him.”

 

“...So you made that room.” Castiel spoke. 

 

“She got to play mommy at work, I got a little pussy and my wife was happy. I got the best of both worlds.” Sam stated. “Till I told her we weren’t a thing, I wasn’t leaving my wife and sold the asylum. Didn’t talk to her again after that. No idea what happened to her or the kid. Hell, don’t even know their gender or name.”

 

“His name is Dean. Dean is sweet, kind and honestly the best person you can ever meet.” Castiel snapped in tears. “He has been locked away in the prison you called a room for all his life and I want a  _ REASONABLE EXCUSE FOR IT.”  _ Sam flinched as Castiel stood, Castiel slammed the nurse's photo in front of Sam. 

 

“Obviously, since I can’t get why from you since you were a piece of shit in the first place. I want to know who. I want to know who you  _ gave _ this necklace to.” Castiel slammed his hand on the necklace gripping it so tight it cut his skin. “WHO IS DEAN’S MOTHER?!”

 

Sam stared at him in slight fear as his eyes moved to the photo, lingering on it for a moment before he pointed to one of the girls. 

 

“...I don’t remember her name.” Sam confessed softly. “But I remember her face anywhere, she was a babyface. Barely legal when we started to hook up. A kid that still believed in happy ever afters.” Sam chuckled sadly to himself as he blew out smoke as Castiel looked at the woman he pointed to with a crushing sickness in his chest. 


	8. His mother

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Castiel’s POV:**

  
  
  
  
  
  


Castiel stormed out of the airport terminal as Benny and Balthazar waited for him, Benny turned seeing Castiel.

 

“Welcome home,” Benny called as Castiel barely stopped in front of them.

 

“Do you have my car keys?” Castiel asked coldly as Balthazar held it out and Castiel started to quickly leave towards his car.

 

“Nice to see you too,” Balthazar called as Castiel stopped and turned coming back.

 

“I’m sorry,” Castiel spoke slightly returning to his old self as he hugged them. “Thanks for coming and bringing my car.”

 

“It was no big deal. I drove one car, he drove the other.” Balthazar shrugged. “But why are you upset? Are you okay?” Balthazar pet Castiel’s head as Castiel looked down for a moment.

 

“...I found out who Dean’s father was...and now I know who the mother is.” Castiel breathed trying not to cry in anger. “I’m going to see her.”

 

“Do you want us to come?” Balthazar spoke as Castiel shook his head no.

 

“I need to do this alone,” Castiel spoke as he hugged them one more time before leaving towards Dean’s mother’s home.

 

_____________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  


**Castiel’s POV:**

  
  
  
  


Castiel stood in front of the home of Dean’s mother, staring at the door trying to build up the courage to knock when he finally knocked on the door. It was a moment when a woman came to the door answering it.

 

“Hello?” The woman responded tiredly, she looked as though she was just getting ready to turn in but was still in her day clothes. Castiel stared at her taking in the features he now recognized as Dean, her eye shape. Her mouth. Castiel tried not to break down as he just stared at her. “What are you doing here? Do you realize what time it is?”

 

“It’s you,” Castiel spoke as the woman paused tears naturally filling his eyes. She stopped taking him in as Castiel sucked in air. “I’ve been looking for you all this time and you were under my nose this whole time.”

 

“I don’t know-” She spoke not understanding.

 

“You’re Dean’s mother, Jessica,” Castiel spoke as Jessica looked startled.

 

“I-I don’t have time for this-” Jessica tried to slam the door as Castiel put his hand against the door as Jessica paused startled.

 

“I-I just want to know why,” Castiel spoke tears sliding down his eyes as Jessica stopped what she was doing. Jessica slowly made eye contact with him before sighing and hesitantly opening the door.

 

“I have my family inside sleeping I-I-” Jessica spoke in her own tears.

 

“Please,” Castiel spoke as Jessica hesitantly allowed him to come in.

 

______________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Jessica’s POV:**

  
  
  
  


Jessica poured some tea for them as before she pulled a locked music box from the living room, she used a hidden key to open it before she pulled some pictures from the box. A couple of folded drawings and pictures of baby Dean and her.

 

“...” Jessica didn’t say anything as she slid over all the pictures as Castiel glanced at her. She wouldn’t even look at them. Castiel took them without comment, glancing over the polaroids of Dean’s childhood from newborn to four. “I was eighteen when I got pregnant with him.” Castiel glanced up at her words but continued to look at the photos.

 

“I had...started an affair with his father, Sam Campbell when I was seventeen. I graduated early, started with an internship there. He was a charming man, made me feel special.” She explained.

 

_________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  


**Jessica’s POV: Their first meeting**

  
  
  
  


Jessica stood at the nurse's station going over the paperwork as she turned to leave slamming into someone.

 

“I am so sorry.” Jessica yelped as she noticed she had just slammed straight into her boss. Great.

 

“It’s okay. It’s alright.” Sam chuckled helping her pick up the stuff as they did their fingers lingered softly on one and another. She hesitantly moved it away, blushing softly.

 

“I don’t think we’d meet.” Sam beamed as charming as ever.

 

“Where are my manners.” Jessica was besides herself. “I’m Jessica. Jessica Moore.” She held out her hand blushing.

 

“Sam…” Sam softly took her hand kissing her hand as she blushed. “...I hope to see you again.”

 

“You too.” Jessica’s heart pounded, watching him walk away.

 

_______________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Castiel’s POV:**

  
  
  


She sighed watching her drink her tea, taking a bit before speaking. Castiel’s eyes fell to one toddler picture of Dean who stood at a window of the asylum more focused on his fingers as the sunlight lit him up.

 

“He was very charming, kind and I found myself just falling hard for him,” Jessica spoke. “Now, if you must know I am and will always be a Christian woman. Sex before marriage is a sin...but he promised me the world and I believed it.”

 

“He told me he asked you to get an abortion,” Castiel whispered.

 

“He did... Said it wasn’t right to conceive out of wedlock and thought we should wait.” Jessica explained. “...and I went...but I didn’t have it in me...so I refused. I thought, maybe if...I waited he would propose… and everything would be okay.”

 

“But it wasn’t. You were close to having the baby yet nothing was done.” Castiel stated.

 

“I kept my figure the best I could, kept it a secret till I could no longer.” Jessica swallowed. “...I told Sam, he was anger at first. He cursed and yelled a lot but when I explained I couldn’t go home...because I knew my family would be angry...That I knew they would-” Jessica started to cry wiping her tears. “That they would punish him for my sins.”

 

“So Sam said you could keep him there. In secret.”  Castiel spoke as Jessica nodded.

 

_____________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  


**Jessica’s POV: The day of birth**

  
  
  
  


Jessica smiled down at the beautiful baby boy in her arms as she recuperated after giving birth. He was just a good baby, barely cried. Jessica softly allowed the baby to feed as she heard the door open as Sam entered awkwardly. Jessica glanced at him as he swallowed nervously.

 

“Did you want to see your son?” Jessica asked as Sam walked over taking a seat on the bed next to him. Watching the baby swallowing food with love, making the most beautiful cooing noises. Sam eyed him as Jessica smiled. “He looks just like you…”

 

Sam glanced up at those words as Sam hesitantly reached a hand out stroking the baby’s thick hair with love before he ripping it away like it burned. He cleaned his throat holding back his own emotions.

 

“I got him these,” Sam spoke as he held out a box of crayons and some paper. “I-I thought he might like them.”

 

“That’s a little too old for him now.” Jessica laughed with love.

 

“Oh…” Sam spoke unfamiliar with babies, Dean pulled his face from his meal to look around. A happy chubby little thing, as he looked at Sam with curiosity at the second life there.

 

“Look what daddy got you,” Jessica spoke as Dean glanced at the crayon box. Dean reached a hand to the box touching it before Sam softly opened it. The baby looking at the crayon box before the baby opened and closed his hand on the crayon curiously before pulling out the yellow crayon. The baby curiously looked at the crayon before trying to mouth it.

 

“No. little one.” Jessica laughed taking it from him as Sam put the crayons onto the table, Dean started to look around so curious about everything around him.

 

“Does...he have a name?” Sam asked as he looked conflicted at the boy.

 

“...I was thinking you should name him.” Jessica spoke wiping Dean’s drool. Sam looked up at her before he looked down as he pulled out his phone looking at baby names. He sat quietly next to them laying near her as Dean contently went back to feeding. A very happy and plump baby for a reason.

 

“How about Dean?” Sam spoke after an hour of searching.

 

“I like Dean,” Jessica whispered as Dean suckled. She softly rubbed his face with her ring finger as Dean started to dose.

 

“Here,” Sam stated as he held out a necklace. Jessica turned to him as Sam moved to place it on her neck. “For you.”

 

“For me?” Jessica beamed looking down at it. “Forever my girl…” She read.

 

“...Because you will be forever my girl.” Sam spoke as Jessica eyed him with love. She eyed him looking down at the necklace before she kissed him.

 

“I love you…” Jessica whispered kissing him as Sam kissed back.

 

_________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  


**Castiel’s POV:**

  
  
  
  
  
  


He stared at her softly as she took another sip of tea, it was a quiet as Jessica took her time to continue.

 

“It was easy at first playing house at the asylum,” Jessica explained. “I would come to work, tend to Dean with all the other nurses and kept up my romance with Sam...It was good...I lived on the hope that once he got his affairs in order...Sam would marry me and I could take Dean home.”

 

“But that never happened.” Castiel spoke as Jessica moved to pour more tea.

 

“...No.” Jessica spoke clearing her throat.

 

________________________________________________________________

  
  


**Jessica’s POV: The news**

  
  
  
  
  
  


A toddler drew on paper on the floor as his parents fought at the sound, Dean’s green eyes glanced up at their harsh yelling.

 

“What do you mean?!” Jessica screamed. “You told me you loved me!”

 

“I do.” Sam snapped with a sigh. “Ruby has the money, I can’t just _leave_ her. I’ll have nothing! There’s a clause if she ever has proof I cheated, I do not get any money! I will be broke!”

 

“Then be _broke_ with us!” Jessica screamed. “Think about me, think of your son!” Dean flinched as he grabbed his stuff sliding under the bed and covering his ears.

 

“I never even got past eighth grade, Jessica!” Sam snapped. “This money is all I have! I am nothing without it!”

 

“So you choose to abandon us.” Jessica cried. “Think of your son! You are going to leave him without a father?!”

 

“I told you to handle him before he was born!” Sam yelled before he slapped her hard, she held her face. “We have all made choices! You decided to keep him out of wedlock, you decided to keep him with no guarantees of a future between us!”

 

“You promised me a future,” Jessica whispered in tears holding her face.

 

“I said _whatever_ I was going to say to keep you putting out!” Sam stated as Jessica flinched. Sam said nothing as he rubbed his chin turning away his chest hurting as Sam turned. “Look, I explained it to the one in charge of the sale that Dean is to remain here as part of the arrangement with the sale. Dean will have a room here to live till you plan to take him home.”

 

Jessica said nothing.

 

“Or you can keep the arrangement you have had here with me,” Sam explained. “Visit him here every day till you build up the courage to.” Sam turned towards the door.

 

“I’ll get you for child support.” Jessica snapped. “If you leave us.” Tears slid down her face.

 

“...No.” Sam turned with a sad smile. “No, you won’t.”  

 

Sam gave Dean a glance under the bed but said nothing before walking away. Jessica wiped her tears as she moved to sit on the bed crying. Dean glanced up at the bottom bed but said nothing as he covered his ears and squeezed his eyes shut.

 

_________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  


**Castiel’s POV:**

  
  
  
  
  


“While the asylum was still looking for a buyer, I bucked up and continued caring for Dean,” Jessica stated. “I would wake him every morning, play with him every afternoon and tuck him into bed every night.”

 

“How did Dean take his father leaving?” Castiel asked as Jessica shrugged.

 

“He never did much but bring him a box of crayons and paper every so often...so I continued in his stead,” Jessica spoke. “I honestly don’t think he noticed. He was a very happy boy.”

 

“So you still visited after Sam left,” Castiel spoke as Jessica nodded. “When did you stop…?”

 

“...I met a Christian boy.” Jessica swallowed. “Who thought he met the perfect Christian bride.” Jessica sucked in air drinking tea. “...It was my wedding day.”

 

___________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  


**Jessica’s POV: The Goodbye**

  
  
  


Jessica entered the cell as Dean laid in bed, she hadn’t woken him up on time today but she had her reasons. Finishing the last bit of things on her wedding day, she kneeled down as she softly shook Dean awake.

 

“Good morning, Dean,” Jessica whispered as Dean blinked his eyes opened.

 

“Good morning, Mary sunshine…” Dean spoke with love as he touched her face. Jessica smiled, kissing his hands before Dean sat up looking at the sunlight. “It’s not morning…”

 

“I know, I am late today,” Jessica explained moving to help Dean get into new clothes. Dean sat up happy to get changed, Jessica changed him with care before kissing his nose. “I checked with Ellen and it looks like you are going to be getting all your favorites today. I heard you are going to be getting donuts and milk for breakfast, for lunch you are going to get some yummy mac and cheese...then if you are really good by dinner you are going to get some burgers, fries and a chocolate shake.”

 

Dean beamed happily at that as Jessica poked his nose.

 

“But if you are even good when I leave today, I’ll stop by with a special piece of cake just for you.” Jessica hummed as Dean looked sad.

 

“Today is bye day today?” Dean whimpered as Jessica nodded. “Gonna marry a prince like Cinderella?” Jessica smiled sadly as she nodded.

 

“...Yes, so yesterday was my last day.” Jessica tried to not cry as she took her hands into his shaking. “...S-...So I won’t be around any longer.” Dean pulled out of her hands and hugged her.

 

“I-I don’t want you to go.” Dean sobbed as Jessica hugged him tightly.

 

“I know, sweetie,” Jessica spoke tears sliding down his face.

 

“I-Is this because of the bad man?” Dean cried as Jessica pulled back.

 

“What bad man?” Jessica spoke as Dean went under his bed and pulled out drawings of sam yelling at Jessica. Jessica sucked out air sadly, looking at the photo.

 

“Is it because of him?” Dean cried. “Is that why you want to go?”

 

“Dean-” Jessica sobbed. “Please be a good boy.” Dean moved to hug her again holding her tightly.

 

“I’ll be a good boy, I promise to protect you, mommy I love you-” Dean cried, Jessica yanked back slapping him as Dean whimpered holding his face Dean turned away from her crying.

 

“I-I told you never to call me that!” Jessica choked upset as Dean cried, Jessica felt guilty and moved to hold him. “I’m sorry, Dean. I-I’m sorry, I-I didn’t mean it I-I...” Jessica held him crying rocking him with care allowing them to cry.

 

“Then please let me come with you!” Dean cried. “I’ll be good, mary sunshine! I’ll be good!”

 

“I-I’m sorry Dean, I-I…” Jessica pulled back. “You have to stay here.”

 

“Jessica, it’s time.” Another guard spoke from the door as Jessica moved to stand up but Dean grabbed her necklace.

 

“P-Please! Don’t go!” Dean begged.

 

“Dean, I’m sorry, little one.” Jessica cried as she tried to pull her necklace out of his hand, but he held on for dear life. The guards came over to help.

 

“Please don't go!” Dean cried as a guard grabbed him. “Please, don’t take my sunshine away-” The necklace chain snapped as Jessica got up leaving the room Dean was tossed into the bed so hard he whimpered hitting the ground. The guard walked out slamming the metal door closed. Dean slowly slid under the bed whimpering as he sobbed curling into himself holding the locket close and cried alone.

 

Jessica couldn’t look at the door as Jessica wiped her tears as Ellen rubbed her shoulder.

 

“Are you okay?” Ellen asked as Jessica nodded.

 

“He was good. He just took his favorite nurse leaving hard.” Jessica whispered sucking in air. “I-I will bring him some cake tonight, please make sure he gets every one of his special meals tonight...and the art supplies.”

 

“I will…” Ellen nodded as Jessica walked away.

 

___________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  


**Castiel’s POV:**

  
  


Tears slid down Castiel’s face as Jessica wiped her own swallowing as a child’s cry from upstairs made her turn.

 

“That would be Adam...I’m sorry. I think it’s time you go.” Jessica stood as Castiel looked at the photos. “You can have those...they do nothing for me now.” Castiel softly took them before he stood.

 

“Why leave him there...after all this time?” Castiel asked as Jessica moved to the stairs. “This is your second husband, right? Your first kid since Dean...why not go get him?”

 

“...I don’t know.” Jessica spoke turning to leave.

 

“Or was it just the idea you would have face what you had to did if you did?” Castiel asked at the door as Jessica looked down.

 

“...Could you blame me?... Such a cruel pill to swallow...” Jessica smiled sadly before walking away up the stairs and Castiel sadly saw himself out.

 

____________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Castiel’s POV:**

  
  
  
  
  
  


Castiel ran into the asylum, running past Balthazar and Benny who were just leaving. They paused seeing Castiel running towards Dean’s room.

 

“Cas?” Balthazar asked as Benny moved to follow, seeing Castiel unlock the door and pull it open. Dean turned sitting near the window looking at him as Castiel moved to hold him. Castiel hugged him crying, as Dean closed his eyes holding him back. Balthazar and Benny standing in the doorway as Castiel moved to take off his coat and scarf putting on Dean as Dean stared at him confused.

 

“We’re going home.” Castiel sobbed. “Come on, Dean, We are going home.” Dean looked confused as Castiel took his hand.

 

“But-” Dean asked confused.

 

“You don’t belong here, you never did,” Castiel asked as he led Dean towards the door, Balthazar and benny slowly moved out of the doorway as Castiel moved towards the side exit quickly wiping his own tears refusing to break down till he was out.

 

“Castiel.” A voice spoke causing him to stop but he didn’t turn around. “What are you doing with our patient?” Dean turned seeing Jimmy standing in the hall a bit behind Benny and Balthazar who looked just as shocked he was there.

 

“He doesn’t belong here.” Castiel snapped. “He’s coming home with me.”

 

“...so you know,” Jimmy spoke putting his weight on his cane. “Then you must know why he needs to stay...he doesn’t have an education, has nothing to his name, no family, no money, he has no one in the real world. It would be a cruelty to throw him out in the real world when all he knows is these four walls.”

 

“...” Castiel held Dean’s hand tighter as Castiel turned to look at his father. “...It’s not true, you know. He does have something out there.” Jimmy stared as Castiel gave him a half smile. “...me,” Jimmy said nothing as Castiel turned to look at Dean. “Let’s go home.”

 

Dean didn’t object as Castiel walked him out of the asylum, Benny and Balthazar following after. Jimmy watching them go with no objection as he softly turned to walk away.

  


_____________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Ten years later:**

  
  
  


Jessica stood outside the asylum, the grey in her blonde hair obvious the older she got as she stared at the building remodeled over time and barely looked like the place her life changed forever.

 

“Excuse me, Ma’am.” A voice smoke as she turned seeing a man about thirty year old standing next to her holding a young girl on his waist. She was slightly startled as the man laughed.

 

“Daddy, you scared her.” The small four years old stated with a pout.

 

“Sorry, forgive me. I didn’t mean to scare you.” The man stated. "I just want to know if you needed help."

 

“It’s quite alright.” The older woman held her chest as she cleared his throat. “No, I don’t need help, I just wanted to see the old place.” She confessed. “I used to work here many years ago and I will be moving out of state soon with my husband, just getting a few last hurrahs in.”

 

“Oh, that’s cool.” The man spoke as he rubbed his beard. “Well, I can ask my husband if he wouldn’t mind you coming for a bit-”

 

“No no. I couldn’t impose.” She spoke. “I have to get going anyways.”

 

“Oh okay.” The man shrugged. “We gotta go in, my husband is waiting for us.”

 

“O-Oh, okay.” Jessica nodded as she moved towards her car.

 

“Daddy Dean? Did you bring my crayons?” The little girl asked as Jessica held her breath turning as Dean kissed his daughter.

 

“No, but Daddy Castiel has crayons for you in his office, Annalise,” Dean spoke kissing her cheek. Jessica watched him walking away talking to his daughter.

 

“Can we have cookies for lunch today?” Annalise spoke with a little British accent playing with fingers.

 

“No no, Daddy Castiel wanted Spaghetti with a salad.” Dean laughed as Annalise pouted. “But I’ll sneak you some later.” Dean hummed to her softly kissing her as she giggled.

 

“Are you promising her cookies?” Castiel laughed coming out of the front doors as the little girls squealed happily for her daddy. Castiel moved to hold her picking her up kissing her repeatedly as Castiel moved to hold and hug Dean. “Hi, love.”

 

“Hey.” Dean kissed him humming, as Castiel beamed at him.

 

“I was thinking we can go out to lunch today,” Castiel stated.

 

“Oh, Annalise wanted to color,” Dean spoke as Castiel beamed.

 

“I figured, so I put the crayons in the car.” Castiel pet her hair as she giggled. “Come on, I’ll drive.” Castiel took Dean’s hand before they happily walked to his car. Jessica watched them for a moment more before getting into the car and softly drive away.

 


End file.
